I have to agree with Marg. You have to sort out the immediate safety problems. Pick your battles. The basket method is a good way to sort them out. What's the immediate problems? What's secondary and what's stuff that needs working on, but is it really worth making life h-ell to get what YOU want. Those are things to work on later, when A and B are in control.
husband needs to understand that you are dealing with an atypical child. If he can't then family counseling with your psychiatric is a way to go. doctor needs to make him understand. We had our first p-doctor meeting with just husband and I recently. It was a major eye opener for husband. I don't think he really "got it" until we went to see the p-doctor together. Perhaps you need to make that appointment.
Good luck.
