I agree with what's already been said too. As a younger parent, I was very authoritarian, that's what I knew, it's how I was raised. It's how I tried to parent step-difficult child and easy child, and then difficult child came along...his behavior was so outrageous at times, and "my ways" clearly were not working. Our household was in a constant state of chaos. During my difficult child's periods of instability, basket c was overflowing, but as someone else mentioned, it doesn't have to stay that way. When difficult child was in a good cycle, I expected more out of him and I got more out of him.
I wish I would've known what I know now, when I was trying to parent step-difficult child. Things might have gone better for all of us. I was too busy trying to raise the kids like my parents raised me because I thought that was the only right way. Thinking back to the former difficult child that I was, it didn't really work for my parents either.
Good luck.
