Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
The Guilt Trap
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 238594" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>Daisy,</p><p>I too have a child whose sibling abused her and we didn't know. I mean I knew she could be mean and I knew she was very jealous but I didn't realize the extent of the abuse until we sent her (difficult child 1) to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and then the dtr who'd been abused opened up about it. </p><p></p><p>My younger dtr has been in therapy for 4 yrs now and her way of coping used to be to dissociate but she is doing much better now.</p><p></p><p>I do know the guilt you feel--I was so focused on difficult child 1 and all her problems that I neglected to protect and nuture my easy child dtr. She was well behaved and did well in school so I figured she was okay and nothing could be further from the truth. Her therapist does EMDR therapy with her and she is having to process a lot of painful memories of the abuse and also feeling abandoned by me, like she didn't count.</p><p></p><p>At some point the blinders came off and I could see it was time to put easy child first. That was when I really got strong and was able to quit enabling difficult child--in fact she was 18 by then and I kicked her out. I told easy child that difficult child would never live with us again and I have kept my word. I also saw that I would have to acknowledge what I did wrong and go from there. It was not going to do my easy child any good to have me depressed and upset over the past. She needed me to be strong and firm and there for her and she needed to see that I would stand up for her now.</p><p></p><p>I know how hard it is--you are now on the right path though. You know the full extent of what is happening and you can protect your other child.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 238594, member: 3208"] Daisy, I too have a child whose sibling abused her and we didn't know. I mean I knew she could be mean and I knew she was very jealous but I didn't realize the extent of the abuse until we sent her (difficult child 1) to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and then the dtr who'd been abused opened up about it. My younger dtr has been in therapy for 4 yrs now and her way of coping used to be to dissociate but she is doing much better now. I do know the guilt you feel--I was so focused on difficult child 1 and all her problems that I neglected to protect and nuture my easy child dtr. She was well behaved and did well in school so I figured she was okay and nothing could be further from the truth. Her therapist does EMDR therapy with her and she is having to process a lot of painful memories of the abuse and also feeling abandoned by me, like she didn't count. At some point the blinders came off and I could see it was time to put easy child first. That was when I really got strong and was able to quit enabling difficult child--in fact she was 18 by then and I kicked her out. I told easy child that difficult child would never live with us again and I have kept my word. I also saw that I would have to acknowledge what I did wrong and go from there. It was not going to do my easy child any good to have me depressed and upset over the past. She needed me to be strong and firm and there for her and she needed to see that I would stand up for her now. I know how hard it is--you are now on the right path though. You know the full extent of what is happening and you can protect your other child. Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
The Guilt Trap
Top