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The habit theory
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 461028" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Well, thanks Keista and everyone. Yes, we mess up and don't do things perfectly... How frustrating! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Seriously, I think what concerns me is that I too have my own inner "boiling points" and that when they erupt, they do so quite violently - just like J... I'm the adult and have the responsibility of working on this - he can't yet... This morning when we woke up we had quite a long "talk" about what had happened. He's quite mature about this sort of thing, can discuss such subjects reasonably intelligently. Just like me <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I wondered whether we could have some sort of system in place to help us <strong>in practice</strong> when he is at boiling point so that we can try to avoid the meltdown of yesterday. At home this could be a "cooling off place" but outside...? I suggested (over ambitiously) to J that he could maybe "go inside his head" when he felt very angry and he found that very funny.... </p><p>Part of the problem for me is that J's difficulties are not constant, not every day (any more) - or, don't get me wrong, that's a good thing not a problem, but I realise it means I keep lulling myself into a completely false sense of security. I start thinking he is just a regular joe, any typical child. He isn't. I'm still learning to accept that. Part of the deal for me yesterday was my own upset and irritation that he couldn't be like all the other kids and do a tennis lesson for an hour...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 461028, member: 11227"] Well, thanks Keista and everyone. Yes, we mess up and don't do things perfectly... How frustrating! :) Seriously, I think what concerns me is that I too have my own inner "boiling points" and that when they erupt, they do so quite violently - just like J... I'm the adult and have the responsibility of working on this - he can't yet... This morning when we woke up we had quite a long "talk" about what had happened. He's quite mature about this sort of thing, can discuss such subjects reasonably intelligently. Just like me :) I wondered whether we could have some sort of system in place to help us [B]in practice[/B] when he is at boiling point so that we can try to avoid the meltdown of yesterday. At home this could be a "cooling off place" but outside...? I suggested (over ambitiously) to J that he could maybe "go inside his head" when he felt very angry and he found that very funny.... Part of the problem for me is that J's difficulties are not constant, not every day (any more) - or, don't get me wrong, that's a good thing not a problem, but I realise it means I keep lulling myself into a completely false sense of security. I start thinking he is just a regular joe, any typical child. He isn't. I'm still learning to accept that. Part of the deal for me yesterday was my own upset and irritation that he couldn't be like all the other kids and do a tennis lesson for an hour... [/QUOTE]
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