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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 321448" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I'm sorry you had such a hurtful situation. You did not deserve what your difficult child was dishing out. If you can resolve ahead of time to cut off communication when it becomes abusive - name calling, yelling, threats, whatever it might be - and make yourself unavailable, it would send a strong message. I have found that talk does nothing in these situations; action is the only thing that gets through. I spent years trying to explain to my difficult child that he shouldn't say certain things to me and he ignored me; the day I stopped the car and made him get out and walk home when he called me a bad name, he took me seriously. </p><p></p><p>If phone calls are one of the ways your difficult child draws you in and upsets you, perhaps you could try rehearsing your response - something along the lines of 'I'm hearing abuse. We'll talk another time, when you can be civil.' Click. Unplug the phone/turn off the cell phone. </p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 321448, member: 2884"] I'm sorry you had such a hurtful situation. You did not deserve what your difficult child was dishing out. If you can resolve ahead of time to cut off communication when it becomes abusive - name calling, yelling, threats, whatever it might be - and make yourself unavailable, it would send a strong message. I have found that talk does nothing in these situations; action is the only thing that gets through. I spent years trying to explain to my difficult child that he shouldn't say certain things to me and he ignored me; the day I stopped the car and made him get out and walk home when he called me a bad name, he took me seriously. If phone calls are one of the ways your difficult child draws you in and upsets you, perhaps you could try rehearsing your response - something along the lines of 'I'm hearing abuse. We'll talk another time, when you can be civil.' Click. Unplug the phone/turn off the cell phone. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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