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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 321629" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>CinVa, I'm glad to hear that you're seeing your therapist for a "tune-up". I love that term, by the way, as it really sums it up.</p><p></p><p>I think that having canned responses prepared ahead of time will help tremendously. That way, you're not on the spot when your difficult child calls you and drops you in it. The nasty name calling is totally unacceptable at any time and deserves to be met with a wall of silence.</p><p></p><p>As for the other stuff, it seems that your Oldest is Passing the Panic. My difficult child and Step-D both do this, and I've dealt with others who do as well. They're riled up and panicking about something, and they phone you in a dither, wanting to pass the panic on to you. Once you have it, they no longer have to deal with it and can relax. If you refuse to pick it up, then they have to deal with it and find a solution independently.</p><p></p><p>I have a client who's like that. I recently got a frantic phone call from her at home at 7:30 am. I just said, "Mrs. B, if you continue to yell at me, I will hang up the phone and not take your calls anymore." She calmed down, but if she had yelled one more time I would have hung up. Same line works on my children. I wonder if it would also work with your daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 321629, member: 3907"] CinVa, I'm glad to hear that you're seeing your therapist for a "tune-up". I love that term, by the way, as it really sums it up. I think that having canned responses prepared ahead of time will help tremendously. That way, you're not on the spot when your difficult child calls you and drops you in it. The nasty name calling is totally unacceptable at any time and deserves to be met with a wall of silence. As for the other stuff, it seems that your Oldest is Passing the Panic. My difficult child and Step-D both do this, and I've dealt with others who do as well. They're riled up and panicking about something, and they phone you in a dither, wanting to pass the panic on to you. Once you have it, they no longer have to deal with it and can relax. If you refuse to pick it up, then they have to deal with it and find a solution independently. I have a client who's like that. I recently got a frantic phone call from her at home at 7:30 am. I just said, "Mrs. B, if you continue to yell at me, I will hang up the phone and not take your calls anymore." She calmed down, but if she had yelled one more time I would have hung up. Same line works on my children. I wonder if it would also work with your daughter. [/QUOTE]
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