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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 321677" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Crazy</p><p> </p><p>That senerio could have been Nichole and I while she was pregnant. Actually, it brought on a lot of memories that I'd tucked away determined to forget. lol<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p> </p><p>I can see both good and bad in this senerio. (this is what I have to do with Nichole sometimes)</p><p> </p><p>Good is that she was worried about grandson and about the neighbor watching him. I'm guessing she doesn't know/trust neighbor enough for such trust and was reacting as a protective mother. Albeit under medications, so might have been over reacting.</p><p> </p><p>She did talk with doctor before leaving.</p><p> </p><p>She did apologize. (so many difficult children would never think to do so)</p><p> </p><p>Now I'll start off as saying I'd have probably handled the phone call the way you did, and have done so many times with Nichole in the past. I also would go and get her. Although being me, I'd have had to talk it thru to help her find better ways of handling the situation either when I'd picked her up or later.</p><p> </p><p>Now. I'm getting that you don't know of all that is going on here? So I'm guessing difficult child hasn't filled in the details that led up to this.</p><p> </p><p>I'm going to play devil's advocate just a tad. Obviously boyfriend decided that work was more important than leaving their child with someone she trusts. She's in the hospital, hurting, sick, probably already worried to death over the situation. Plus on pain medications ect......which can alter your responses even NOT mixed with other medications. She panics -- could also be due to medications/illness/pain---calls you.......and the rest we know.</p><p> </p><p>Ok. She definately handled it lousy. And she hurt the very person she wanted/needed to help her. When Nichole does this I take the time to point it out to her because she didn't always realize that is what she was doing until forced to look at her behavior. Nichole had to work <strong><em>really hard</em></strong> to stop such behavior. </p><p> </p><p>As a person with chronic renal failure and waaaayyyy too many kidney issues of my own......I can tell you when you're sick with it and in pain....like major infection/stones.....what comes out of your mouth is often not reasonable to any other human being. No I'm not defending her....just sort of, I dunno, I read that and thought to myself of the times that being in that much pain and that sick I'd reacted similarly. One incident with my own mother came immediately to mind and I'll be honest and say I was downright vicious with her. What she'd done to cause my reaction was wrong, but I had went <strong><em>way over the top</em></strong> in my response to it.</p><p> </p><p>Like I said, I'm not defending the way she treated you at all. Just saying other factors other than simple gfgdom probably had a part in it.</p><p> </p><p>With Nichole we as an entire family had to ban together and refuse to do anything for her unless she could treat us respectfully. That was a very hard lesson for her to learn, and a very painful one. Because she really didn't <strong>see</strong> the behavior until we banned together and started pointing it out to her. And it's a behavior I haven't seen in a while. (thank goodness)</p><p> </p><p>I know difficult child chose to get pregnant. And I know you don't agree with that decision. And I understand that. But she is pregnant regardless, ill, with a boyfriend that keeps dropping the ball, is over stressed, hormonal...... Just might help you to not take her lashing out so personally if you can keep those things in mind.</p><p> </p><p>She needs to drink water and lots of it. Make sure she cleans that area well after sex. No bubble baths. Wipe front to back. And get doctor to finding out what her stones are made of so she can avoid those foods in her diet to reduce the chances of creating future stones. Each stone and infection is causing damage to her kidneys, damage that can't be undone.</p><p> </p><p>Your posts remind me why I keep praying Nichole holds off on getting pregnant in the near future.</p><p> </p><p>((((hugs))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 321677, member: 84"] Crazy That senerio could have been Nichole and I while she was pregnant. Actually, it brought on a lot of memories that I'd tucked away determined to forget. lol:knockedout: I can see both good and bad in this senerio. (this is what I have to do with Nichole sometimes) Good is that she was worried about grandson and about the neighbor watching him. I'm guessing she doesn't know/trust neighbor enough for such trust and was reacting as a protective mother. Albeit under medications, so might have been over reacting. She did talk with doctor before leaving. She did apologize. (so many difficult children would never think to do so) Now I'll start off as saying I'd have probably handled the phone call the way you did, and have done so many times with Nichole in the past. I also would go and get her. Although being me, I'd have had to talk it thru to help her find better ways of handling the situation either when I'd picked her up or later. Now. I'm getting that you don't know of all that is going on here? So I'm guessing difficult child hasn't filled in the details that led up to this. I'm going to play devil's advocate just a tad. Obviously boyfriend decided that work was more important than leaving their child with someone she trusts. She's in the hospital, hurting, sick, probably already worried to death over the situation. Plus on pain medications ect......which can alter your responses even NOT mixed with other medications. She panics -- could also be due to medications/illness/pain---calls you.......and the rest we know. Ok. She definately handled it lousy. And she hurt the very person she wanted/needed to help her. When Nichole does this I take the time to point it out to her because she didn't always realize that is what she was doing until forced to look at her behavior. Nichole had to work [B][I]really hard[/I][/B] to stop such behavior. As a person with chronic renal failure and waaaayyyy too many kidney issues of my own......I can tell you when you're sick with it and in pain....like major infection/stones.....what comes out of your mouth is often not reasonable to any other human being. No I'm not defending her....just sort of, I dunno, I read that and thought to myself of the times that being in that much pain and that sick I'd reacted similarly. One incident with my own mother came immediately to mind and I'll be honest and say I was downright vicious with her. What she'd done to cause my reaction was wrong, but I had went [B][I]way over the top[/I][/B] in my response to it. Like I said, I'm not defending the way she treated you at all. Just saying other factors other than simple gfgdom probably had a part in it. With Nichole we as an entire family had to ban together and refuse to do anything for her unless she could treat us respectfully. That was a very hard lesson for her to learn, and a very painful one. Because she really didn't [B]see[/B] the behavior until we banned together and started pointing it out to her. And it's a behavior I haven't seen in a while. (thank goodness) I know difficult child chose to get pregnant. And I know you don't agree with that decision. And I understand that. But she is pregnant regardless, ill, with a boyfriend that keeps dropping the ball, is over stressed, hormonal...... Just might help you to not take her lashing out so personally if you can keep those things in mind. She needs to drink water and lots of it. Make sure she cleans that area well after sex. No bubble baths. Wipe front to back. And get doctor to finding out what her stones are made of so she can avoid those foods in her diet to reduce the chances of creating future stones. Each stone and infection is causing damage to her kidneys, damage that can't be undone. Your posts remind me why I keep praying Nichole holds off on getting pregnant in the near future. ((((hugs)))) [/QUOTE]
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