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General Parenting
"The Manipulative Child"
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 171084" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>I don't like the word - negotiation , I prefer working side by side problem solving , finding mutually satisfying solutions , it is a skill and takes time to build trust. in my humble opinion opinion when a child's perspective is usually taken into account and the parent is generally empathetic , a child is more likely to trust the parent when something is not negotiable than a parent who is authoratarian.</p><p></p><p>Mom, I don't want to go to the library, let's go to the park instead." "We need to go to the library to return books and get a new one. We don't have time for the Park today." "But the park is next door, you go to the library and let me go to the park."</p><p> See how child looks for a way to get to the park?</p><p></p><p>The parent was in basket A , ignoring the child and saying do it my way.</p><p>The child shows some creativity and problem solving skills and addresses both the paren's concern of going to the library and her concern - wanting to go to the park. The parent needs not to be stuck in her thinking and be a bit creative. When both concerns are being addressed in a problem solving rather than a negotiating manner , manipulation does not enter the playing field</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 171084, member: 10"] Hi, I don't like the word - negotiation , I prefer working side by side problem solving , finding mutually satisfying solutions , it is a skill and takes time to build trust. in my humble opinion opinion when a child's perspective is usually taken into account and the parent is generally empathetic , a child is more likely to trust the parent when something is not negotiable than a parent who is authoratarian. Mom, I don't want to go to the library, let's go to the park instead." "We need to go to the library to return books and get a new one. We don't have time for the Park today." "But the park is next door, you go to the library and let me go to the park." See how child looks for a way to get to the park? The parent was in basket A , ignoring the child and saying do it my way. The child shows some creativity and problem solving skills and addresses both the paren's concern of going to the library and her concern - wanting to go to the park. The parent needs not to be stuck in her thinking and be a bit creative. When both concerns are being addressed in a problem solving rather than a negotiating manner , manipulation does not enter the playing field Allan [/QUOTE]
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"The Manipulative Child"
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