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The nice lady Stephanie wants me to participate in family meetings....
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 630234" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>You have hit on something key here, Recovering. If we have chosen, maybe because of the pain we've experienced, to choose to love instead of justifying hatred or dominance or any of the thousand other justifications to mistreat or think badly of someone else ~ maybe that does not mean we enabled them into being who they became.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, all that means is that the particular addicts who have us for parents have been very fortunate addicts, indeed. </p><p></p><p>Just lately, I have been seeing what my kids do as having nothing to do with me.</p><p></p><p>No guilt.</p><p></p><p>There is even a sense of real anger growing in my heart at what my children have done, not only to me and to husband, but <em>to their own children.</em></p><p></p><p>Strange feeling.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>And I feel such hostility around those issues, now.</p><p></p><p>I feel like my life has been stolen away, has been frittered away justifying relationship with people (not just my kids ~ these feelings have to do with family of origin issues, too) who were nothing like the people I believed them to be.</p><p></p><p>Bad Cedar.</p><p></p><p>But I don't feel bad.</p><p></p><p>I feel awake.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I hope this is true for me too, Recovering.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I wonder if it would be possible to contact the father, to support him in some way. It must be awful, to be going through what is happening to him, now.</p><p></p><p>I am not so sure these are mental health issues. Even in my daughter's case, drugs were involved.</p><p></p><p>I am so in a cold place myself, today.</p><p></p><p>Sorry, guys.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 630234, member: 17461"] You have hit on something key here, Recovering. If we have chosen, maybe because of the pain we've experienced, to choose to love instead of justifying hatred or dominance or any of the thousand other justifications to mistreat or think badly of someone else ~ maybe that does not mean we enabled them into being who they became. Maybe, all that means is that the particular addicts who have us for parents have been very fortunate addicts, indeed. Just lately, I have been seeing what my kids do as having nothing to do with me. No guilt. There is even a sense of real anger growing in my heart at what my children have done, not only to me and to husband, but [I]to their own children.[/I] Strange feeling. Yes. And I feel such hostility around those issues, now. I feel like my life has been stolen away, has been frittered away justifying relationship with people (not just my kids ~ these feelings have to do with family of origin issues, too) who were nothing like the people I believed them to be. Bad Cedar. But I don't feel bad. I feel awake. I hope this is true for me too, Recovering. I wonder if it would be possible to contact the father, to support him in some way. It must be awful, to be going through what is happening to him, now. I am not so sure these are mental health issues. Even in my daughter's case, drugs were involved. I am so in a cold place myself, today. Sorry, guys. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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The nice lady Stephanie wants me to participate in family meetings....
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