Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The other shoe dropped...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 380060"><p>Thanks Nancy, </p><p></p><p>It would be so much easier to not let him use the at all if he didn't have a job and if there was some kind of public transportation around here. Basically without car use or us driving him he has no way to get to work..... and the one thing positive going on in his life is he has a job and he has been responsible about it.</p><p></p><p>I really feel if we set it up so he can't work then he will spiral down into depression and just give up and we will end up back where we were in June.</p><p></p><p>The one thing he has continued is to stay calm when we disagree and to keep his cool and to not be volatile or really unpleasant. That will change if he spirals downwards.</p><p></p><p>So we have bought a tracking system which we will be installing in the next couple of days. Until then we are driving him to work. After that he will be allowed Occupational Therapist (OT) drive to work and home again... and we will be able to see that he does that and also if he goes over the speed limit. </p><p></p><p>He did tell us that the police did have him do sobriety testing which he passed... and I am sure that is why they did not arrest him. </p><p></p><p>I totally get where you are coming from but I really want to support him working because that is a very positive step he has taken. </p><p></p><p>I will absolutely kick him out of the house if he starts getting violent or threatening as he did before. </p><p></p><p>The other thing he is facing is 3 pending court cases all while he was on probation. He may end up in jail...I don't want that to happen but it may. My hope is they will put him on supervised probation...right now he is on unsupervised probation which is really kind of useless. We are not getting him a lawyer at this point and he hasn't asked us to. We are not paying any of his fines or probation fees or the speeding ticket.</p><p></p><p>One thing I have realized in the last couple of days is I kind of have to get out of his way. The more he feels like I am trying to control his behavior the more he fights against it.... and so sometimes does the really stupid things because he knows I would not like it. He will still probably do really stupid things but he seems to make better choices when he has a chance to think things through on his own....and is not trying to rebel against me.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your thoughts..... I guess I am not quite as tough as I thought I was.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 380060"] Thanks Nancy, It would be so much easier to not let him use the at all if he didn't have a job and if there was some kind of public transportation around here. Basically without car use or us driving him he has no way to get to work..... and the one thing positive going on in his life is he has a job and he has been responsible about it. I really feel if we set it up so he can't work then he will spiral down into depression and just give up and we will end up back where we were in June. The one thing he has continued is to stay calm when we disagree and to keep his cool and to not be volatile or really unpleasant. That will change if he spirals downwards. So we have bought a tracking system which we will be installing in the next couple of days. Until then we are driving him to work. After that he will be allowed Occupational Therapist (OT) drive to work and home again... and we will be able to see that he does that and also if he goes over the speed limit. He did tell us that the police did have him do sobriety testing which he passed... and I am sure that is why they did not arrest him. I totally get where you are coming from but I really want to support him working because that is a very positive step he has taken. I will absolutely kick him out of the house if he starts getting violent or threatening as he did before. The other thing he is facing is 3 pending court cases all while he was on probation. He may end up in jail...I don't want that to happen but it may. My hope is they will put him on supervised probation...right now he is on unsupervised probation which is really kind of useless. We are not getting him a lawyer at this point and he hasn't asked us to. We are not paying any of his fines or probation fees or the speeding ticket. One thing I have realized in the last couple of days is I kind of have to get out of his way. The more he feels like I am trying to control his behavior the more he fights against it.... and so sometimes does the really stupid things because he knows I would not like it. He will still probably do really stupid things but he seems to make better choices when he has a chance to think things through on his own....and is not trying to rebel against me. Thanks for your thoughts..... I guess I am not quite as tough as I thought I was. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The other shoe dropped...
Top