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The other shoe dropped...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 58813" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If you take an adopted child to a therapist, social worker or psycologist, we have found that they target the adoption as the issue right away. It may not be true. While all adopted kids think about it, many function well and there are actually issues that the kids may have inherited which can cause them to act out on you. It doesn't have to be their deepseated resentment of you due to adoption, although you'd think so listening to some therapists. Most adopted children, especially those adopted at birth, accept and love their family, even if they think about their birthfamily. The adoption blame is sort of what therapists are taught in school--it's just a theory. If you have information on the birthparents you may well find that they have diagnosed psychiatric problems/personality issues that resemble your difficult child--inherited.</p><p>Therapists tend to jump on MANY issues--all theoeretically the cause of certain behaviors. I've seen my share of them. I've gone to therapists since my teen years (I'm well past that now) and found that every therapist wanted to hone in on my bad relationship with my mother, but I have bipolar. Once that stabilized, suddenly my well being and peace of mind changed, and I realized that the therapists were WRONG. It's possible that your child is just wired differently. If she hears from her therapists that her adoption bothers her, it's an easy target for her to pick up and through at you. It can also start to upset her more than it would if it wasn't always talked about. I don't know what's wrong with your child, but it can take years to find out. If she has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, and it sounds like she may, then she would be remote whether or not she was adopted. in my opinion it never hurts to keep looking for answers. If she's never seen a neuropsychologist, maybe go there and see if he or she has a fresh perspective. My own experience with therapists has not been good--and I've seen tons. They also misdiagnosed my own adopted son. I'm not a fan of "The Primal Wound" etc. because it is strictly theory. I got really good help from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Instead of pondering "why is this happening" (something I doubt even your child knows), this focuses on different ways of managing behavior and I found it very helpful. I wish you luck. This isn't easy. It took us a long time to figure it out. Freud was once the rule of the day for therapists. That was just a theory, disproven, and this could be the next trend that will be disproven. At any rate, I hope you find good help. Hugs :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 58813, member: 1550"] If you take an adopted child to a therapist, social worker or psycologist, we have found that they target the adoption as the issue right away. It may not be true. While all adopted kids think about it, many function well and there are actually issues that the kids may have inherited which can cause them to act out on you. It doesn't have to be their deepseated resentment of you due to adoption, although you'd think so listening to some therapists. Most adopted children, especially those adopted at birth, accept and love their family, even if they think about their birthfamily. The adoption blame is sort of what therapists are taught in school--it's just a theory. If you have information on the birthparents you may well find that they have diagnosed psychiatric problems/personality issues that resemble your difficult child--inherited. Therapists tend to jump on MANY issues--all theoeretically the cause of certain behaviors. I've seen my share of them. I've gone to therapists since my teen years (I'm well past that now) and found that every therapist wanted to hone in on my bad relationship with my mother, but I have bipolar. Once that stabilized, suddenly my well being and peace of mind changed, and I realized that the therapists were WRONG. It's possible that your child is just wired differently. If she hears from her therapists that her adoption bothers her, it's an easy target for her to pick up and through at you. It can also start to upset her more than it would if it wasn't always talked about. I don't know what's wrong with your child, but it can take years to find out. If she has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, and it sounds like she may, then she would be remote whether or not she was adopted. in my opinion it never hurts to keep looking for answers. If she's never seen a neuropsychologist, maybe go there and see if he or she has a fresh perspective. My own experience with therapists has not been good--and I've seen tons. They also misdiagnosed my own adopted son. I'm not a fan of "The Primal Wound" etc. because it is strictly theory. I got really good help from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Instead of pondering "why is this happening" (something I doubt even your child knows), this focuses on different ways of managing behavior and I found it very helpful. I wish you luck. This isn't easy. It took us a long time to figure it out. Freud was once the rule of the day for therapists. That was just a theory, disproven, and this could be the next trend that will be disproven. At any rate, I hope you find good help. Hugs [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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