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The patience of a saint
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 531964" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Only if you were a French parent. You are not a French parent, but a parent in France. Your son isn't a French easy child and we can all agree that he's not a easy child at all. You are very much displaced trying to fit in, in a situation you may never fit into. You would be having such difficulties even in the US.</p><p></p><p>In your response to whatamess, you more clearly defined your concerns - you are afraid you may harm J. Every parent's (well the ones that are attentive) concern. However, what makes you think that dealing with J with "the patience of a saint" would <strong>not</strong> do him any harm? Spare the rod, spoil the child, comes to mind, and I'm not talking physical punishment. How will J ever learn to deal with his emotions or reactions to someone angry at him if you <em>*ALWAYS*</em> have the patience of a saint? He won't. This is the reality. In 4th grade son had a teacher who was so excited to have him in her class. She was excited because she wanted to practice the skills she learned in an Autism workshop. GREAT. Yeah, well, not so much. By the end of the year, son was having tantrums and meltdowns BECAUSE of her skills. See, she wasn't using them when needed, she was using them ALL. THE. TIME! He was sick of it. Sick of the choices when he didn't' need them, sick of the accommodations when he didn't need them. Why couldn't she just treat him like the other kids? I had to tell her to back off. She was doing all the right things, but it became just too much. Even too much of a good thing can become a bad thing.</p><p></p><p></p><p>So yes, when I tell you, or anyone else, not to be so hard on yourself, I am being VERY supportive, because humans aren't perfect, and neither are parents, and I think if parents were, it would not be a good thing</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 531964, member: 11965"] Only if you were a French parent. You are not a French parent, but a parent in France. Your son isn't a French easy child and we can all agree that he's not a easy child at all. You are very much displaced trying to fit in, in a situation you may never fit into. You would be having such difficulties even in the US. In your response to whatamess, you more clearly defined your concerns - you are afraid you may harm J. Every parent's (well the ones that are attentive) concern. However, what makes you think that dealing with J with "the patience of a saint" would [B]not[/B] do him any harm? Spare the rod, spoil the child, comes to mind, and I'm not talking physical punishment. How will J ever learn to deal with his emotions or reactions to someone angry at him if you [I]*ALWAYS*[/I] have the patience of a saint? He won't. This is the reality. In 4th grade son had a teacher who was so excited to have him in her class. She was excited because she wanted to practice the skills she learned in an Autism workshop. GREAT. Yeah, well, not so much. By the end of the year, son was having tantrums and meltdowns BECAUSE of her skills. See, she wasn't using them when needed, she was using them ALL. THE. TIME! He was sick of it. Sick of the choices when he didn't' need them, sick of the accommodations when he didn't need them. Why couldn't she just treat him like the other kids? I had to tell her to back off. She was doing all the right things, but it became just too much. Even too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. So yes, when I tell you, or anyone else, not to be so hard on yourself, I am being VERY supportive, because humans aren't perfect, and neither are parents, and I think if parents were, it would not be a good thing [/QUOTE]
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