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I'm sorry Lil! I know how difficult this is and I understand what you're going through. My 20 year old son has currently been homeless since the end of May. Previous to that he was homeless off and on for a year with the "off" parts solely due to ME finding him services, several shelter programs, an apartment, etc. I spent countless hours and a ton of money that I couldn't afford. I bought him food often and gave him money. I would drive him places instead of making him take responsibility for his own transportation. I paid for motels and an apartment and the money to move across country and "start over". I did all of the work FOR him and every single time he threw it all away. He didn't want to follow rules, wouldn't get a job, wanted to do only what he wanted to do. The result is that he's been homeless and on the streets for almost 8 months now.


That being said, he's finally starting to show improvement. He's been taking initiative to get services set up on his own, he goes to appointments on his own, finds food and shelter on his own, etc. And I truly believe it's because I finally completely stepped back and stopped doing it FOR him.


Stepping back and giving him control of his own life was the hardest thing I've ever done. I still talk to my son daily and I even help him at times. But the difference is that now when I help him he genuinely appreciates it. He sincerely thanks me. He finally realizes that I help him with certain things because I WANT to and not because I HAVE to.


Anyway - I just want you to know that I understand what you're going through and you have my support. I've been in your shoes and I know how devastatingly hard it is. Stay strong. Hugs to you!


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