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The Saga Continues: wow....just wow. :(
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 644504" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>Just so we are all clear on the drug issue. We know for a fact that he smokes pot. He loves his pot in point of fact. We also know for a fact that he has smoked synthetic pot on MANY different occasions. Found too many potpourri packets in his room and in the vehicle he was using to be able to deny it. He started smoking the synthetic as a way to beat drug testing while job hunting. Is he doing other drugs? Quite possibly but we don't know for sure and he sure as hell wont admit it to us so there is no point in pursuing it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have a key so we could go there at any time. I don't want to do this. We represent THE MAN way too much already. It would be entirely too easy for me to switch to cop mode and for him to hate me for it. At this point, what we really need is some distance. If we are there its a chance for him to beg and whine which means its a chance for us to cave to the pressure. We are going to have a talk with him on Saturday and remind him that NOTHING has changed. He still owes rent come February 1st so he needs to get himself another job. We are going to remind him that if he wants food then he needs to go to the shelter at meal time and/or to the food pantry. If he needs money for ANYTHING then refer back to the whole get himself another job. I am financially responsible for the apartment, no way of getting around it. I signed the lease so I either pay if he doesn't or face the consequences. Since I'm big on owning up and facing the consequences, I will be paying, if needed, and facing the consequences of the arrangement we made with our son.</p><p></p><p>If I have learned nothing else during my time in Corrrections, I've learned that you CAN NOT force someone else to change, admit their mistakes, do something, not do something unless they want to. For whatever reason, our son currently doesn't seem to want to work. Over the next several months he will fact the consequences of this decision which will culminate in him being homeless again as of June 1st unless during that time HE changes his mind about how he should act.</p><p></p><p>I value your opinion MWM but the simple fact of the matter is that Lil and I are in a position to do one of three things for our son right now. Enable, Jack, or Squat. We're choosing to do two of those three while focusing on getting our lives back. We CAN NOT spend the next several months worrying about what condition our son may or may not have or what drugs he may or may not be using. And I was wrong earlier, there is one other thing we can chose to do for our son. Hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 644504, member: 18238"] Just so we are all clear on the drug issue. We know for a fact that he smokes pot. He loves his pot in point of fact. We also know for a fact that he has smoked synthetic pot on MANY different occasions. Found too many potpourri packets in his room and in the vehicle he was using to be able to deny it. He started smoking the synthetic as a way to beat drug testing while job hunting. Is he doing other drugs? Quite possibly but we don't know for sure and he sure as hell wont admit it to us so there is no point in pursuing it. I have a key so we could go there at any time. I don't want to do this. We represent THE MAN way too much already. It would be entirely too easy for me to switch to cop mode and for him to hate me for it. At this point, what we really need is some distance. If we are there its a chance for him to beg and whine which means its a chance for us to cave to the pressure. We are going to have a talk with him on Saturday and remind him that NOTHING has changed. He still owes rent come February 1st so he needs to get himself another job. We are going to remind him that if he wants food then he needs to go to the shelter at meal time and/or to the food pantry. If he needs money for ANYTHING then refer back to the whole get himself another job. I am financially responsible for the apartment, no way of getting around it. I signed the lease so I either pay if he doesn't or face the consequences. Since I'm big on owning up and facing the consequences, I will be paying, if needed, and facing the consequences of the arrangement we made with our son. If I have learned nothing else during my time in Corrrections, I've learned that you CAN NOT force someone else to change, admit their mistakes, do something, not do something unless they want to. For whatever reason, our son currently doesn't seem to want to work. Over the next several months he will fact the consequences of this decision which will culminate in him being homeless again as of June 1st unless during that time HE changes his mind about how he should act. I value your opinion MWM but the simple fact of the matter is that Lil and I are in a position to do one of three things for our son right now. Enable, Jack, or Squat. We're choosing to do two of those three while focusing on getting our lives back. We CAN NOT spend the next several months worrying about what condition our son may or may not have or what drugs he may or may not be using. And I was wrong earlier, there is one other thing we can chose to do for our son. Hope. [/QUOTE]
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