Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Saga Continues: wow....just wow. :(
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 644558" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, he wouldn't have to live at home, hon. And my son used to steal from me because of his incredibly horrible impulse control. He wanted potato chips (lovely diet) so he'd steal money to buy them. We ended up locking up our money. The impulse control in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is as bad or worse than ADHD. He never did learn to keep his fingers out of our pockets so we locked everything into a lock box for his safety and our own. He also took our car out a few times because he wanted to pick up something he had saved for...some stupid game system. Maybe this will make you laugh. It made ME want to ring his neck.</p><p></p><p>The first time he went out, he said, "I want to drive just like everyone else." Of course he didn't really want to learn to drive when it came down to it and he didn't have a license and a cop called us and the cop seemed shaken. "He's crying and so upset. Can one of you pick him up?" That was Time One.</p><p></p><p>The second time, was the night of the midnight videogame pick up. He couldn't wait for morning. No, that required too much impulse control. So we're asleep and the phone rings at 1:30am and it', yep, another cop, with the same complaint. THIS cop was even more soft-hearted. "Please don't punish him. He told me all about his disabilities."</p><p></p><p>Ok, I was ready to slap him (not the cop, my son). He is hardly mentally challenged. He knows right from wrong. He is usually very well behaved. But when it comes to his dang obsessions, he can NOT wait. As soon as the cop left, I said, "This time you pay out of YOUR money and we will lock up the car keys from now on. If you take our car again, we will say it was stolen and you can sit in jail." He bawled like a baby. Until he moved out, we locked the car keys up and our money. My husband grumbled about it a lot, something like, "...it's my house and I have to lock my money up..." But I felt that he couldn't control his impulses and told my husband this was to help him control himself control those impulses and to keep our money and car safe. Would have bothered me if he hadn't had such poor impulse control, but he did so it didn't. Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>I never mentioned that here because in the big picture Sonic has done very little wrong. The stealing was a big problem, but he won't steal from a stranger so now that he's not in the house that has resolved. He has a heart of gold. He gave his best friend three Christmas presents from his own money. He hugs me and says he loves me all the time. He is a hard worker and a great friend and was nominated for "Best Young Man Award." But he is different. Fortunately for Sonic, it doesn't bother him and he is such a happy young man, but he has been treated as an equal and special and good person from the time he was young, even in school. If asked if his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) bothers him he said, "Nope. I'm happy." And he is!</p><p></p><p>I am his guardian and payee. I don't think he'll need a guardian much longer. He has matured mucho in the past two years. He is now twenty one and able to take care of himself, BUT I still have to pay his bills on time. He has no interest in being 100% independent. Your son doesn't seem to mind your helping himl out a bit either. He knows that without a payee, he will empty out his bank account as soon as he gets paid to buy things he wants...and he doesn't want to do that. He's fine with not having access to his money. I am pretty generous at giving him money for things to do and buy anyway. After all, he has minimal bills and it IS his money, not ours.</p><p></p><p>Lil, I didn't want to make you cry, honey. I just offered this possibility. Please wipe your eyes. You did nothing wrong. Sonic was more obvious that he had problems and was born with cocaine in his system so we knew right away he had issues. But, if your son does, you could not have known it if nobody saw it. Please be very good to yourself now. And you are both welcome to move in...anytime <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 644558, member: 1550"] Lil, he wouldn't have to live at home, hon. And my son used to steal from me because of his incredibly horrible impulse control. He wanted potato chips (lovely diet) so he'd steal money to buy them. We ended up locking up our money. The impulse control in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is as bad or worse than ADHD. He never did learn to keep his fingers out of our pockets so we locked everything into a lock box for his safety and our own. He also took our car out a few times because he wanted to pick up something he had saved for...some stupid game system. Maybe this will make you laugh. It made ME want to ring his neck. The first time he went out, he said, "I want to drive just like everyone else." Of course he didn't really want to learn to drive when it came down to it and he didn't have a license and a cop called us and the cop seemed shaken. "He's crying and so upset. Can one of you pick him up?" That was Time One. The second time, was the night of the midnight videogame pick up. He couldn't wait for morning. No, that required too much impulse control. So we're asleep and the phone rings at 1:30am and it', yep, another cop, with the same complaint. THIS cop was even more soft-hearted. "Please don't punish him. He told me all about his disabilities." Ok, I was ready to slap him (not the cop, my son). He is hardly mentally challenged. He knows right from wrong. He is usually very well behaved. But when it comes to his dang obsessions, he can NOT wait. As soon as the cop left, I said, "This time you pay out of YOUR money and we will lock up the car keys from now on. If you take our car again, we will say it was stolen and you can sit in jail." He bawled like a baby. Until he moved out, we locked the car keys up and our money. My husband grumbled about it a lot, something like, "...it's my house and I have to lock my money up..." But I felt that he couldn't control his impulses and told my husband this was to help him control himself control those impulses and to keep our money and car safe. Would have bothered me if he hadn't had such poor impulse control, but he did so it didn't. Know what I mean?? I never mentioned that here because in the big picture Sonic has done very little wrong. The stealing was a big problem, but he won't steal from a stranger so now that he's not in the house that has resolved. He has a heart of gold. He gave his best friend three Christmas presents from his own money. He hugs me and says he loves me all the time. He is a hard worker and a great friend and was nominated for "Best Young Man Award." But he is different. Fortunately for Sonic, it doesn't bother him and he is such a happy young man, but he has been treated as an equal and special and good person from the time he was young, even in school. If asked if his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) bothers him he said, "Nope. I'm happy." And he is! I am his guardian and payee. I don't think he'll need a guardian much longer. He has matured mucho in the past two years. He is now twenty one and able to take care of himself, BUT I still have to pay his bills on time. He has no interest in being 100% independent. Your son doesn't seem to mind your helping himl out a bit either. He knows that without a payee, he will empty out his bank account as soon as he gets paid to buy things he wants...and he doesn't want to do that. He's fine with not having access to his money. I am pretty generous at giving him money for things to do and buy anyway. After all, he has minimal bills and it IS his money, not ours. Lil, I didn't want to make you cry, honey. I just offered this possibility. Please wipe your eyes. You did nothing wrong. Sonic was more obvious that he had problems and was born with cocaine in his system so we knew right away he had issues. But, if your son does, you could not have known it if nobody saw it. Please be very good to yourself now. And you are both welcome to move in...anytime ;) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Saga Continues: wow....just wow. :(
Top