Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
The system stinks!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 189269" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>Hi,</p><p>I too live in NY State and saw a lawyer regarding this legal responsibility til the kid is 21. Yes, it is true you cannot kick the kid out at 18. However, the kid can leave on his/her own--if I were you I would be praying that this is exactly what she does. Now if she goes for public services then the Dept. of Social Services can take you to court to get you to pay child support. But, if she is going to continue living in your home you have the right to provide her with the bare minimum and also to have stringent rules. If she doesn't want to live under those rules she can leave.</p><p></p><p>In our case, I "kicked" difficult child out when she was 18 and she and her boyfriend went straight to the DSS. The DSS worker called me and asked if it was true I had kicked her out. I said, "yes, she cannot live here, it is not good for my younger dtr" and explained our circumstances. She said that if I was unwilling to have difficult child live at our house then they would come after us for child support. However, she told me within difficult child's hearing, that I could have very stringent rules. I said, "okay, then she can come home." I knew difficult child would not come home, she didn't want to live with rules. The social worker then asked if I would be willing to provide difficult child with some basics such as a winter coat. I said I would. She then offered to work with difficult child and me and I agreed. difficult child did not want to do this so she gave up trying to get DSS help and that was the end of it.</p><p></p><p>I would definitely call difficult child's bluff--if she wants to move out at 18 let her. Then when she finds out that if she wants public assistance she is going to have to live either by your rules or the DSS rules (they have to get a job, etc.) she's going to see that just because she is 18 doesn't mean she is free if she can't support herself.</p><p></p><p>Let me know if I can answer any other questions. I truly understand your frustration with the state of NY. My lawyer said the law is set up so the taxpayers aren't supporting other people's kids. Fine, but then give us some authority over our kids! But, as I said, there are ways around this--you can make your dtr's life quite miserable if she is going to remain living with you.</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 189269, member: 3208"] Hi, I too live in NY State and saw a lawyer regarding this legal responsibility til the kid is 21. Yes, it is true you cannot kick the kid out at 18. However, the kid can leave on his/her own--if I were you I would be praying that this is exactly what she does. Now if she goes for public services then the Dept. of Social Services can take you to court to get you to pay child support. But, if she is going to continue living in your home you have the right to provide her with the bare minimum and also to have stringent rules. If she doesn't want to live under those rules she can leave. In our case, I "kicked" difficult child out when she was 18 and she and her boyfriend went straight to the DSS. The DSS worker called me and asked if it was true I had kicked her out. I said, "yes, she cannot live here, it is not good for my younger dtr" and explained our circumstances. She said that if I was unwilling to have difficult child live at our house then they would come after us for child support. However, she told me within difficult child's hearing, that I could have very stringent rules. I said, "okay, then she can come home." I knew difficult child would not come home, she didn't want to live with rules. The social worker then asked if I would be willing to provide difficult child with some basics such as a winter coat. I said I would. She then offered to work with difficult child and me and I agreed. difficult child did not want to do this so she gave up trying to get DSS help and that was the end of it. I would definitely call difficult child's bluff--if she wants to move out at 18 let her. Then when she finds out that if she wants public assistance she is going to have to live either by your rules or the DSS rules (they have to get a job, etc.) she's going to see that just because she is 18 doesn't mean she is free if she can't support herself. Let me know if I can answer any other questions. I truly understand your frustration with the state of NY. My lawyer said the law is set up so the taxpayers aren't supporting other people's kids. Fine, but then give us some authority over our kids! But, as I said, there are ways around this--you can make your dtr's life quite miserable if she is going to remain living with you. Jane [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
The system stinks!!!
Top