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General Parenting
The teeter-totter of guilt and spiral slide of difficult child...
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 128703" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Shari, I recognize the whole phase of behavior with a kid who has no boundaries. He can't set his own. In my mind, I saw my difficult child at that age as a ball in a pinball game just bouncing with abandon from one side to another flipper to another side and never having any clear goal. A ball of impulsive emotion.</p><p>Make no mistake your child and mine are as disabled as that young man. I saw part of the show. The difference being that he had physical disabilities and your son struggles with thinking disabilities. Both bring it's own basket of obstacles and heart ache for a parent. It is/was very hard to accept that my son would be considered disabled but his level of functioning indicates the pro's were right and I made some success by working with him. The statistics don't tell the whole story but they also tell you some truths. I'm not saying that there isn't hope. I believe whole heartedly at not giving up that improvement can happen. I'm saying you have every right or reason to feel so sad and angry at the circumstances that brought a child into the world with the disabilities that your son suffers. Then get up the next morning and start over. Regardless of whether it is a new evaluation, new behavior modification plan, new medication, new school. You get going and parent your very difficult child with his invisible disabilities. He is yours and love forces us to persist. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself. Find a safe place where you are nurtured and allow yourself to wrap yourself in some self pity for 20 min. My bathroom and a late night bath helped me pull myself together after a really bad day or a really frightening realization. He needs you and you still have a job to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 128703, member: 3"] Shari, I recognize the whole phase of behavior with a kid who has no boundaries. He can't set his own. In my mind, I saw my difficult child at that age as a ball in a pinball game just bouncing with abandon from one side to another flipper to another side and never having any clear goal. A ball of impulsive emotion. Make no mistake your child and mine are as disabled as that young man. I saw part of the show. The difference being that he had physical disabilities and your son struggles with thinking disabilities. Both bring it's own basket of obstacles and heart ache for a parent. It is/was very hard to accept that my son would be considered disabled but his level of functioning indicates the pro's were right and I made some success by working with him. The statistics don't tell the whole story but they also tell you some truths. I'm not saying that there isn't hope. I believe whole heartedly at not giving up that improvement can happen. I'm saying you have every right or reason to feel so sad and angry at the circumstances that brought a child into the world with the disabilities that your son suffers. Then get up the next morning and start over. Regardless of whether it is a new evaluation, new behavior modification plan, new medication, new school. You get going and parent your very difficult child with his invisible disabilities. He is yours and love forces us to persist. Take care of yourself. Find a safe place where you are nurtured and allow yourself to wrap yourself in some self pity for 20 min. My bathroom and a late night bath helped me pull myself together after a really bad day or a really frightening realization. He needs you and you still have a job to do. [/QUOTE]
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The teeter-totter of guilt and spiral slide of difficult child...
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