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The truth comes out...maybe
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 645558" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I well understand this is not your most pressing concern with him right now, but this is something that may well change when he matures a bit. Or even more so, when others out mature him and he is forced to notice that things are not working out for him like they are for his friends. That realisation is also the point he is more likely to accept help in trying to change things.</p><p></p><p>What you said about your son taking offence to a suggestion he wouldn't be normal, stopped me on my tracks. I'm not sure when that changed for us, but two and half-three years ago that was still very much true with my son. Now at 21 that has certainly changed. I mean, he is certainly not happy to have PTSD, dissociation disorder, hysterical conversion, moderate depression, self-harming issues and other miscellaneous issues, oddities and deviations of 'normal', and he certainly makes an effort to be just 'one of the guys', but neither is he offended when people have to discuss his issues with him, when he has to admit them to someone who needs to know about them (that he doesn't want to share much info with those who don't need to know is just healthy self-preservation I think) and he has also lately done well even in advocating for some sensory and auditory accommodations he needs to do better in his life situation. This change for him has been gradual but also very prominent and has happened sometime now around his twenties. And this is from the boy, who still at sixteen threw temper tantrums because I pointed out to him, that he should try extra tall pants, because he happens to be a half feet taller than most men (and he even plays sport, where being tall is an advantage.)</p><p></p><p>Admitting your differences and challenges is the first step to dealing with them but it does take quite a lot of courage and is difficult for young people, who would just like to belong and be... well, normal. life may in fact be easier for those of our kids, who have grown with an idea that they are special and will likely end up having different life than 'normal' kids. For those who can hang on, even by the skin of their teeth, it comes as a nasty surprise then they can't any more. And after focusing all your efforts to appear normal, to be just on of the guys, you find yourself without plan B and having to come to terms, that you just can't pass as 'normal' any more, but have to re-think whole mess. And that requires some serious maturity!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 645558, member: 14557"] I well understand this is not your most pressing concern with him right now, but this is something that may well change when he matures a bit. Or even more so, when others out mature him and he is forced to notice that things are not working out for him like they are for his friends. That realisation is also the point he is more likely to accept help in trying to change things. What you said about your son taking offence to a suggestion he wouldn't be normal, stopped me on my tracks. I'm not sure when that changed for us, but two and half-three years ago that was still very much true with my son. Now at 21 that has certainly changed. I mean, he is certainly not happy to have PTSD, dissociation disorder, hysterical conversion, moderate depression, self-harming issues and other miscellaneous issues, oddities and deviations of 'normal', and he certainly makes an effort to be just 'one of the guys', but neither is he offended when people have to discuss his issues with him, when he has to admit them to someone who needs to know about them (that he doesn't want to share much info with those who don't need to know is just healthy self-preservation I think) and he has also lately done well even in advocating for some sensory and auditory accommodations he needs to do better in his life situation. This change for him has been gradual but also very prominent and has happened sometime now around his twenties. And this is from the boy, who still at sixteen threw temper tantrums because I pointed out to him, that he should try extra tall pants, because he happens to be a half feet taller than most men (and he even plays sport, where being tall is an advantage.) Admitting your differences and challenges is the first step to dealing with them but it does take quite a lot of courage and is difficult for young people, who would just like to belong and be... well, normal. life may in fact be easier for those of our kids, who have grown with an idea that they are special and will likely end up having different life than 'normal' kids. For those who can hang on, even by the skin of their teeth, it comes as a nasty surprise then they can't any more. And after focusing all your efforts to appear normal, to be just on of the guys, you find yourself without plan B and having to come to terms, that you just can't pass as 'normal' any more, but have to re-think whole mess. And that requires some serious maturity! [/QUOTE]
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