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Theory on economy?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 319227" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I whole-heartedly agree with that. I even made issue about this in court- because I think that our society has forced parents to use "wants" ONLY as ways to discipline their kids, or else they are neglecting or abusing their children. Then, the kid doesn't mind, takes it for granted that the needs will be taken care of, and grows up thinking that any money earned should go to toys. That's my theory on what went wrong in our society regarding child-rearing.</p><p></p><p>Now as far as debt- one could draw similar conclusions regarding my present high debt. But, maybe it did have more to do with the housing value "boom". We lived in a little tiny house for 9 years, that I was buying. I was worried about difficult child staying in that neighborhood through middle school and high school and wanted him to go to a better school. I found out that the house was worth twice what I had paid for it 9 years earlier, so I sold it. I had no doubt that the man who bought it was pressured into it and could not afford to buy ANY house, but that was not in my control. I think he wasa taken advantage of and he was foreclosed on about a year later- that was 2 years ago.</p><p></p><p>I, on the other hand, paid off every debt I had, put a nice down-payment on this house in order to keep my house payments in the range they were for the tiny house, and put some into savings. The amount in savings was meant to be for emergencies and to fix up this house- which needed some minor repair and cosmetic upgrades- which is how I got a good deal on it. It is 4 BR but not a big one and it is ugly, frankly. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I was also told I could have afforded more house but didn't want to max out what they told me because I thought difficult child might need braces, I wanted to prepare for him going to college, etc. But, difficult child kept getting into trouble. So here I ended up going through everything I had in savings for attny fees for him, restitution, a custody battle (more attny fees), then losing my benefits from work by having to go to court and appts so much that I could no longer work full time. So, I had to pay almost $1000/month for medication insurance to keep difficult child in a psychiatrist and therapist. The other county agencies would not help me due to difficult child being on probation, difficult child got into trouble again, I took a leave of absence due to court dates and him being in psychiatric hospital out of town, then I try to go back to work and find I'd been replaced. So, I didn't even qualify for unemployment. So, over the past year I have now gotten into debt again and still cannot find a job.</p><p></p><p>Forgive me for rehashing but I didn't want anyone thinking that I got into this shape because I was out buying toys. I could have pulled things together at any point this year if I could have found a job in my field that paid comparable to what I've earned at 2 different places for the past 6 years. I still could- but the work just isn't here. It's all I can do sometimes not to blame difficult child for all of this but I have to keep that in check. But I can guarantee you- when the only topic in family therapy has turned to difficult child GETTING MORE it doesn't sit well with me- especially when I can't even get appraised value for this house due to him damaging it. LOL! And of course, if I can't keep him in a home and meet his needs, they send him somewhere else where his needs can be met and I get to pay CS. Now, when does he learn not to take it all for granted? When does he learn that if he doesn't do what he is supposed to do, he loses what he needs, not just what he wants?</p><p></p><p>Ok, that's my Occupational Therapist (OT) vent. (And this doesn't mean that I think difficult child should go hungry or left in the cold- but he needs to learn that his biggest problem shouldn't be getting more privileges, in my humble opinion.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 319227, member: 3699"] I whole-heartedly agree with that. I even made issue about this in court- because I think that our society has forced parents to use "wants" ONLY as ways to discipline their kids, or else they are neglecting or abusing their children. Then, the kid doesn't mind, takes it for granted that the needs will be taken care of, and grows up thinking that any money earned should go to toys. That's my theory on what went wrong in our society regarding child-rearing. Now as far as debt- one could draw similar conclusions regarding my present high debt. But, maybe it did have more to do with the housing value "boom". We lived in a little tiny house for 9 years, that I was buying. I was worried about difficult child staying in that neighborhood through middle school and high school and wanted him to go to a better school. I found out that the house was worth twice what I had paid for it 9 years earlier, so I sold it. I had no doubt that the man who bought it was pressured into it and could not afford to buy ANY house, but that was not in my control. I think he wasa taken advantage of and he was foreclosed on about a year later- that was 2 years ago. I, on the other hand, paid off every debt I had, put a nice down-payment on this house in order to keep my house payments in the range they were for the tiny house, and put some into savings. The amount in savings was meant to be for emergencies and to fix up this house- which needed some minor repair and cosmetic upgrades- which is how I got a good deal on it. It is 4 BR but not a big one and it is ugly, frankly. Anyway, I was also told I could have afforded more house but didn't want to max out what they told me because I thought difficult child might need braces, I wanted to prepare for him going to college, etc. But, difficult child kept getting into trouble. So here I ended up going through everything I had in savings for attny fees for him, restitution, a custody battle (more attny fees), then losing my benefits from work by having to go to court and appts so much that I could no longer work full time. So, I had to pay almost $1000/month for medication insurance to keep difficult child in a psychiatrist and therapist. The other county agencies would not help me due to difficult child being on probation, difficult child got into trouble again, I took a leave of absence due to court dates and him being in psychiatric hospital out of town, then I try to go back to work and find I'd been replaced. So, I didn't even qualify for unemployment. So, over the past year I have now gotten into debt again and still cannot find a job. Forgive me for rehashing but I didn't want anyone thinking that I got into this shape because I was out buying toys. I could have pulled things together at any point this year if I could have found a job in my field that paid comparable to what I've earned at 2 different places for the past 6 years. I still could- but the work just isn't here. It's all I can do sometimes not to blame difficult child for all of this but I have to keep that in check. But I can guarantee you- when the only topic in family therapy has turned to difficult child GETTING MORE it doesn't sit well with me- especially when I can't even get appraised value for this house due to him damaging it. LOL! And of course, if I can't keep him in a home and meet his needs, they send him somewhere else where his needs can be met and I get to pay CS. Now, when does he learn not to take it all for granted? When does he learn that if he doesn't do what he is supposed to do, he loses what he needs, not just what he wants? Ok, that's my Occupational Therapist (OT) vent. (And this doesn't mean that I think difficult child should go hungry or left in the cold- but he needs to learn that his biggest problem shouldn't be getting more privileges, in my humble opinion.) [/QUOTE]
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