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Therapist for DC2
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753329" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>One thing I have had to let go with my son, reluctantly, is the idea that anything I do will motivate him to do the right thing or to improve his life. Still, I find ideas sneaking in about how maybe if I do that, he will do this. This is insidious and wrong. I need to act from my core. My needs. My hopes. My beliefs. My voice. As best I know. To be true to myself.</p><p></p><p>I believe letting daughter do as she wishes with the therapist, and every other thing as long as she is not under your roof, is the best thing for her, because this way she'll experience the consequences of her choices. But I don't believe that we can or should seek to control our children this way. I think my only guiding principle must be my own integrity. If I stay rooted in this, it will be the right thing. Whether or not it provokes a change or positive outcome in my child. </p><p></p><p>I locate myself in me, as best I can. I fail often, but if I stay true to this intention, I believe I can stay true to myself, and to him too.</p><p></p><p>This is 100 percent different than when I came here. When I thought only what would bring about change in him, for him. I was completely alienated from me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753329, member: 18958"] One thing I have had to let go with my son, reluctantly, is the idea that anything I do will motivate him to do the right thing or to improve his life. Still, I find ideas sneaking in about how maybe if I do that, he will do this. This is insidious and wrong. I need to act from my core. My needs. My hopes. My beliefs. My voice. As best I know. To be true to myself. I believe letting daughter do as she wishes with the therapist, and every other thing as long as she is not under your roof, is the best thing for her, because this way she'll experience the consequences of her choices. But I don't believe that we can or should seek to control our children this way. I think my only guiding principle must be my own integrity. If I stay rooted in this, it will be the right thing. Whether or not it provokes a change or positive outcome in my child. I locate myself in me, as best I can. I fail often, but if I stay true to this intention, I believe I can stay true to myself, and to him too. This is 100 percent different than when I came here. When I thought only what would bring about change in him, for him. I was completely alienated from me. [/QUOTE]
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