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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 753382" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>I will have to get caught up on reading these awesome looking posts a little later .just got home last night from my overseas trip. </p><p></p><p>Today is Day 1 at home, and the conflict is already here. After the wanting hugs bla bla bla message, daughter did not even leave her room when I came home for 15 minutes. I had a feeling it was b.s. designed to get me to shut up about therapist. She had asked husband during my absence how we felt about it and he did not communicate the boundary. He did say he did not think she had been helped there .</p><p></p><p>So this morning , daughter asked about my trip and then I asked about her month here. And she mentioned she had a bunch of appointments. And I asked for what and she mentioned therapist. So I communicated my boundary. That she knew I had issues with this therapist and that if she wanted to see her she had to be aware that I would not do any of the billing, payments for messed up billing, or give rides there. Predictably, daughter started to cry and victim role - how hard it had been for her to decide to go back to therapy , how she needs to talk to someone, how it's too hard to roll out your history with someone new. How happy she had been to find out that therapist was on our insurance now. (Still don't know how she found out, did not ask). How she needs someone to empathize with her and this therapist does that. I only listened. I understand all of her reasons. And I really wish I could be supportive. </p><p></p><p>She wanted to know my issues : I told her about the billing (again), even said that there were some unethical things (I figured therapist would back off if daughter communicated that to her / they text) and that today, I have to stand in my integrity and can't support that ( here she interrupted me and said sarcastically that I was so superior to other people) . I added that she had not gotten any better in the 4 years she has seen said therapist. To which daughter replied that that was none of my business. I said she had been grossly misdiagnosed (bipolar) and daughter said that was her fault based on what she said to therapist and that again this was none of my business. I started to get angry at this point and did not want to give any more reasons , so I told her that since she wants to play the "none of your business game" that my reasons were none of her business and I was done . She got up, raised her voice told me that I was incapable of accepting boundaries from anyone and stalked off. </p><p></p><p>Has been in her room ever since. I went to church, came back, made lunch for hub and I and she came out to get water and ignored me. I didn't say anything .</p><p></p><p>She wants a ride to the pharmacy for yet another medication. Said she had gotten effexor and it was not working so she is back on Prozac which she called in. She was just at the psychiatrist and so she argued for effexor with then and it's not working like all of her ideas on what chemicals her brain needs. So now back to Prozac. She asked hub for a ride just now saying she was mad at me and wanted him to do it. This is now $50 in copays and the 5th medication this month and I told hub that we will need to discuss a cap on copays. He still does not know what 4 medications she got the other day and whether she complied with my rules about no benzos. I feel very alone and certainly don't need any more conflict with her at this point , so I won't ask right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 753382, member: 24254"] I will have to get caught up on reading these awesome looking posts a little later .just got home last night from my overseas trip. Today is Day 1 at home, and the conflict is already here. After the wanting hugs bla bla bla message, daughter did not even leave her room when I came home for 15 minutes. I had a feeling it was b.s. designed to get me to shut up about therapist. She had asked husband during my absence how we felt about it and he did not communicate the boundary. He did say he did not think she had been helped there . So this morning , daughter asked about my trip and then I asked about her month here. And she mentioned she had a bunch of appointments. And I asked for what and she mentioned therapist. So I communicated my boundary. That she knew I had issues with this therapist and that if she wanted to see her she had to be aware that I would not do any of the billing, payments for messed up billing, or give rides there. Predictably, daughter started to cry and victim role - how hard it had been for her to decide to go back to therapy , how she needs to talk to someone, how it's too hard to roll out your history with someone new. How happy she had been to find out that therapist was on our insurance now. (Still don't know how she found out, did not ask). How she needs someone to empathize with her and this therapist does that. I only listened. I understand all of her reasons. And I really wish I could be supportive. She wanted to know my issues : I told her about the billing (again), even said that there were some unethical things (I figured therapist would back off if daughter communicated that to her / they text) and that today, I have to stand in my integrity and can't support that ( here she interrupted me and said sarcastically that I was so superior to other people) . I added that she had not gotten any better in the 4 years she has seen said therapist. To which daughter replied that that was none of my business. I said she had been grossly misdiagnosed (bipolar) and daughter said that was her fault based on what she said to therapist and that again this was none of my business. I started to get angry at this point and did not want to give any more reasons , so I told her that since she wants to play the "none of your business game" that my reasons were none of her business and I was done . She got up, raised her voice told me that I was incapable of accepting boundaries from anyone and stalked off. Has been in her room ever since. I went to church, came back, made lunch for hub and I and she came out to get water and ignored me. I didn't say anything . She wants a ride to the pharmacy for yet another medication. Said she had gotten effexor and it was not working so she is back on Prozac which she called in. She was just at the psychiatrist and so she argued for effexor with then and it's not working like all of her ideas on what chemicals her brain needs. So now back to Prozac. She asked hub for a ride just now saying she was mad at me and wanted him to do it. This is now $50 in copays and the 5th medication this month and I told hub that we will need to discuss a cap on copays. He still does not know what 4 medications she got the other day and whether she complied with my rules about no benzos. I feel very alone and certainly don't need any more conflict with her at this point , so I won't ask right now. [/QUOTE]
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