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Therapist for DC2
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753392" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The reason she is confident and firm with YOU is because this is in relation to you. Her conflict about moving beyond or away from you is not activated. When you are not there her power scares her...because she's ambivalent about moving away from you psychologically and maybe physically too. Or else why would she cut when you're in Europe? </p><p></p><p>What you are doing, I think, by focusing on your own separate life, and putting into place firm but loving boundaries is the best possible thing for her. One you are showing her that you can tolerate and want her to be separate and autonomous in relation to you. Two you are creating a structure whereby she can become independent and self-sufficient, not inter-dependent in the sense of enmeshed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753392, member: 18958"] The reason she is confident and firm with YOU is because this is in relation to you. Her conflict about moving beyond or away from you is not activated. When you are not there her power scares her...because she's ambivalent about moving away from you psychologically and maybe physically too. Or else why would she cut when you're in Europe? What you are doing, I think, by focusing on your own separate life, and putting into place firm but loving boundaries is the best possible thing for her. One you are showing her that you can tolerate and want her to be separate and autonomous in relation to you. Two you are creating a structure whereby she can become independent and self-sufficient, not inter-dependent in the sense of enmeshed. [/QUOTE]
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