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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Therapist said "Never Let the Situation Mean More than the Relationship"
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 705910" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I won't ever forget calmly and quietly telling my mother that I hated her. Her response? "Good. I am doing something right. You are a teen and are supposed to hate me. You got into trouble. You are supposed to be mad at me and think you hate me. Go do your homework. Now." </p><p></p><p>I remembered that when I had kids. When they told me they hated me, it hurt. But they were kids and I was the adult. I didn't let it wound me mortally because they were kids. Your daughter is even worse off - a drug addicted mentally ill teen. It cannot get much worse. She really wants to hurt you because she NEEDS you so much and is so afraid you will leave her but it will hurt so much if you do so she will push you away first. No, none of that makes any sense, but it is teenage sense, not real sense. </p><p></p><p>Please follow what SWOT said and find a GOOD psychologist who specializes in treating teen girls with drug problems. I promise they are out there. I know EXACTLY who I would send you to in my community! It won't be easy, but you can get through this.</p><p></p><p>Please also go to alanon or narcanon, even if your teen won't ever go. It means at first going to meetings at different times and places until you find the right time and place for you. The right time and place for you might not be right for your husband. I know early in our marriage when my husband and I went to deal with the alcoholism in our parents and siblings, we did NOT like the same meetings, so we went separately. It was actually good that we went to some meeting separately and some together though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 705910, member: 1233"] I won't ever forget calmly and quietly telling my mother that I hated her. Her response? "Good. I am doing something right. You are a teen and are supposed to hate me. You got into trouble. You are supposed to be mad at me and think you hate me. Go do your homework. Now." I remembered that when I had kids. When they told me they hated me, it hurt. But they were kids and I was the adult. I didn't let it wound me mortally because they were kids. Your daughter is even worse off - a drug addicted mentally ill teen. It cannot get much worse. She really wants to hurt you because she NEEDS you so much and is so afraid you will leave her but it will hurt so much if you do so she will push you away first. No, none of that makes any sense, but it is teenage sense, not real sense. Please follow what SWOT said and find a GOOD psychologist who specializes in treating teen girls with drug problems. I promise they are out there. I know EXACTLY who I would send you to in my community! It won't be easy, but you can get through this. Please also go to alanon or narcanon, even if your teen won't ever go. It means at first going to meetings at different times and places until you find the right time and place for you. The right time and place for you might not be right for your husband. I know early in our marriage when my husband and I went to deal with the alcoholism in our parents and siblings, we did NOT like the same meetings, so we went separately. It was actually good that we went to some meeting separately and some together though. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
Therapist said "Never Let the Situation Mean More than the Relationship"
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