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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Therapist said "Never Let the Situation Mean More than the Relationship"
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<blockquote data-quote="MommaMella" data-source="post: 705932" data-attributes="member: 21255"><p>Thank you all. I was a bit of a handful at her age - and I remember "hating" my parents. I remember having a smart mouth, rolling eyes constantly, slamming my bedroom door... My eldest two went through that stage for sure...and sometimes still...That's all pretty typical. The waters we are treading now with DD3 with the drugs, alcohol, abusive boyfriend, constant lying etc. reckless behavior ...not so typical. Last night, I was just reflecting on all we have been through in 3 short months and the absurdity of HER saying she doesn't like ME? Oh Yeah? Well, guess what Honey? I'm not so crazy about you either right now! (...But I love you more than my next breath.)</p><p></p><p>This journey is a such a roller coaster of emotion - guilt, fear, anger, grief, sadness and hope... I feel like I visit each of these emotions daily...sometimes hourly. I'm dizzy and nauseous from this ride. Can it please just stop so I can unbuckle and exit safely to my right?</p><p></p><p>We have started with a new therapist Monday. We did the intake appointment so far. This practice offers treatment focused on dual diagnosis approach for mental health and drug abuse, and the therapist we are with specializes in adolescent addiction. I pray this one is the right one for us. See! There's that dang HOPE again. So yeah, I'll keep hanging on.</p><p></p><p>[USER=12511]@ksm[/USER] - Yes, absolutely, adding the 3 kids had an effect on daughter. No doubt about it. She was simply displaced - ripped from being the baby of our tiny 2 kid family to being the middle child of 5 over night. When the 3 kids joined us, 2 were still in diapers and the eldest (10 at the time) was undiagnosed ADHD with attachment issues - they demanded a lot of attention and we recognized what this meant for daughter. We did our best to work through this with her. We've always been a solid family with close relationships with one another. But we saw where she was at and we consciously gave her extra attention and extra special time with each of us as well as had her in counselling for a while as a kid and it really seemed as though she adjusted. Then the puberty years hit...this is prior to all the drug/alcohol stuff, and she started experiencing peer issues (*because tween/teen girls are just plain mean*) and subsequently some anxiety and mild depression. We took her back to counselling at her request and of course again part of what she was working through was the impact of taking on the kids had on her as well as a lot of peer issues she was experiencing at that time. The peer stuff seemed to be what she needed to work through most at this time. And this year, at 15, she started the new school and got a lot of attention being the new girl and caught the eye of the senior boy (I call him DemonBoy) with the bad attitude and drug problem...and here we are 3 months later with an entirely different daughter than we thought we started the school year with. Now in counselling we are definitely going to be focusing on the drug/alcohol use, but what the underlying cause is as well as the obvious self-esteem issues. The real daughter is in there...just under the surface. We are going to do our best to find her and get her back.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MommaMella, post: 705932, member: 21255"] Thank you all. I was a bit of a handful at her age - and I remember "hating" my parents. I remember having a smart mouth, rolling eyes constantly, slamming my bedroom door... My eldest two went through that stage for sure...and sometimes still...That's all pretty typical. The waters we are treading now with DD3 with the drugs, alcohol, abusive boyfriend, constant lying etc. reckless behavior ...not so typical. Last night, I was just reflecting on all we have been through in 3 short months and the absurdity of HER saying she doesn't like ME? Oh Yeah? Well, guess what Honey? I'm not so crazy about you either right now! (...But I love you more than my next breath.) This journey is a such a roller coaster of emotion - guilt, fear, anger, grief, sadness and hope... I feel like I visit each of these emotions daily...sometimes hourly. I'm dizzy and nauseous from this ride. Can it please just stop so I can unbuckle and exit safely to my right? We have started with a new therapist Monday. We did the intake appointment so far. This practice offers treatment focused on dual diagnosis approach for mental health and drug abuse, and the therapist we are with specializes in adolescent addiction. I pray this one is the right one for us. See! There's that dang HOPE again. So yeah, I'll keep hanging on. [USER=12511]@ksm[/USER] - Yes, absolutely, adding the 3 kids had an effect on daughter. No doubt about it. She was simply displaced - ripped from being the baby of our tiny 2 kid family to being the middle child of 5 over night. When the 3 kids joined us, 2 were still in diapers and the eldest (10 at the time) was undiagnosed ADHD with attachment issues - they demanded a lot of attention and we recognized what this meant for daughter. We did our best to work through this with her. We've always been a solid family with close relationships with one another. But we saw where she was at and we consciously gave her extra attention and extra special time with each of us as well as had her in counselling for a while as a kid and it really seemed as though she adjusted. Then the puberty years hit...this is prior to all the drug/alcohol stuff, and she started experiencing peer issues (*because tween/teen girls are just plain mean*) and subsequently some anxiety and mild depression. We took her back to counselling at her request and of course again part of what she was working through was the impact of taking on the kids had on her as well as a lot of peer issues she was experiencing at that time. The peer stuff seemed to be what she needed to work through most at this time. And this year, at 15, she started the new school and got a lot of attention being the new girl and caught the eye of the senior boy (I call him DemonBoy) with the bad attitude and drug problem...and here we are 3 months later with an entirely different daughter than we thought we started the school year with. Now in counselling we are definitely going to be focusing on the drug/alcohol use, but what the underlying cause is as well as the obvious self-esteem issues. The real daughter is in there...just under the surface. We are going to do our best to find her and get her back. [/QUOTE]
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Therapist said "Never Let the Situation Mean More than the Relationship"
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