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General Parenting
therapist Was Very Blunt With difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 490693"><p>I understand what you're saying, buddy. The teachers and the religion teacher are, in his words, "nice" to him becasue they are not the ones who have to say no to him. He needs extra help in English and the teacher says yes, he will help difficult child as long as difficult child feels that he needs the help. Nice teacher. He asks me for extra video game time. Sorry, honey, but you earned that yesterday (it's a once a week thing). Mean mom because I have to say no. And you're exactly right. He plans the whole thing out in his head, "Mom, will you take me to the toy store?" "Of course, dear. Let me drop everything so that you can go spend that allowance money that is burning a hole in your pocket.") and when reality and his plans don't match up exactly, that's when he has a problem. </p><p></p><p>He does pretty well when he out and out knows that he is not going to be able to do something ("You bought Microsoft point today. Now you will not be able to buy any more of them until this date"). It's when the answer is not a definate answer that he has trouble.</p><p></p><p>It makes me crazy because he knows that he does not get what he wants when he is told no and then a tantrum ensues. Why do you not understand that if I've already said no that throwing a screaming fit is certainly the quickest to get me to dig my heels in even more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 490693"] I understand what you're saying, buddy. The teachers and the religion teacher are, in his words, "nice" to him becasue they are not the ones who have to say no to him. He needs extra help in English and the teacher says yes, he will help difficult child as long as difficult child feels that he needs the help. Nice teacher. He asks me for extra video game time. Sorry, honey, but you earned that yesterday (it's a once a week thing). Mean mom because I have to say no. And you're exactly right. He plans the whole thing out in his head, "Mom, will you take me to the toy store?" "Of course, dear. Let me drop everything so that you can go spend that allowance money that is burning a hole in your pocket.") and when reality and his plans don't match up exactly, that's when he has a problem. He does pretty well when he out and out knows that he is not going to be able to do something ("You bought Microsoft point today. Now you will not be able to buy any more of them until this date"). It's when the answer is not a definate answer that he has trouble. It makes me crazy because he knows that he does not get what he wants when he is told no and then a tantrum ensues. Why do you not understand that if I've already said no that throwing a screaming fit is certainly the quickest to get me to dig my heels in even more. [/QUOTE]
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therapist Was Very Blunt With difficult child
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