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General Parenting
therapist Was Very Blunt With difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Ktllc" data-source="post: 490702" data-attributes="member: 11847"><p>We have a very similar situation at home. Here is what doctor just suggested to us yesterday:</p><p>Teach him to cope without throwing a tantrum. The tantrum serves a perpose (ie: cope with stress, anxiety...). We need to replace that with a more socially appropriate behavior that would have the same effect (ie: coping effect). You NEVER teach in the mist of a tantrum. It has to be done when the child is nice and quiet. Then you can ask: do you want ice cream or potatoe chips? If the child says ice cream, the you say somethink like "oops, you can't have ice cream. But you can have the chips and you will be ok". Make the child repeat "I don't get what I want , but I will be ok". As soon as he says it: big praise and reward. The reward can be a big hug, a high 5, stickers. Whatever the child REALLY likes. Maybe for you a couple minutes of extra video game time? The idea is to practice enough times that the child will be able to do it on his own in real situation. Don't forget to reward everytime he is able to talk himself down. </p><p>I just gave it a try (after much apprehension) and V actually did it. He was so thrilled to get a sticker that he completly forgot that I did not let him have the plate he wanted (usually a very big deal for him). V was in a good mood, but that's a positive first step.</p><p>I would suggest starting with something small and warn him he might not like that exercise (I warned V).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ktllc, post: 490702, member: 11847"] We have a very similar situation at home. Here is what doctor just suggested to us yesterday: Teach him to cope without throwing a tantrum. The tantrum serves a perpose (ie: cope with stress, anxiety...). We need to replace that with a more socially appropriate behavior that would have the same effect (ie: coping effect). You NEVER teach in the mist of a tantrum. It has to be done when the child is nice and quiet. Then you can ask: do you want ice cream or potatoe chips? If the child says ice cream, the you say somethink like "oops, you can't have ice cream. But you can have the chips and you will be ok". Make the child repeat "I don't get what I want , but I will be ok". As soon as he says it: big praise and reward. The reward can be a big hug, a high 5, stickers. Whatever the child REALLY likes. Maybe for you a couple minutes of extra video game time? The idea is to practice enough times that the child will be able to do it on his own in real situation. Don't forget to reward everytime he is able to talk himself down. I just gave it a try (after much apprehension) and V actually did it. He was so thrilled to get a sticker that he completly forgot that I did not let him have the plate he wanted (usually a very big deal for him). V was in a good mood, but that's a positive first step. I would suggest starting with something small and warn him he might not like that exercise (I warned V). [/QUOTE]
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therapist Was Very Blunt With difficult child
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