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therapist Was Very Blunt With difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 490709" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I can so very very deeply FEEL your pain, I live it... so that is the only reason I am brain storming with you, not at all trying to change things up! lol...</p><p></p><p>OK, so again just being clinical (then later we an add real life, haha)..... if we were making an out of the box kind of behavior plan (the ones for OUR kids not the standard dumb ones with a sticker and reward a week later)... the first thing we do is find out how often they need a reinforcer, how long their tolerance for waiting is. Maybe once a week for some things is not enough. I am not saying whenever he needs it, but usually when we do a plan we reinforce frequently at first to establish a behavior, and then pull back to less and less. eventually hoping we can do random which maintains behaviors for typical kids, but for ours can as you said...make them nuts. So, without looking like you are giving IN, can you just let him know that you are re-doing his plan for now.... put it in a way that says you always review plans and you think that as team (last name) you think this may help with some of the struggles right now...</p><p></p><p>Is there a way to do some of the things more frequently than once a week... or only after X amount of work (I am making stuff up here since I don t know what your rules are... and I so admire that you have those, they will in the end be what makes him learn all of this...)... Maybe he just really truly does need more frequent reinforcement so needs lower guidelines or more chances??? If they are things that push him over the edge then obviously not... and some things...maybe would work to do this but some no way. </p><p></p><p>I hope you remind me of this when I am falling apart again, I feel like I am missing a clue right now and I think it is medication related, but I suspect it is also as we talked about elsewhere, MY level of stress around him... not able to hide it as well lately. Because guess what? while i was typing this school called AGAIN! holy heck, I still think a cruise with all of us on one deck and our difficult child's on the padded deck will work wonders. Who ever comes out alive we take home (those are the bobbie prizes, lol).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 490709, member: 12886"] I can so very very deeply FEEL your pain, I live it... so that is the only reason I am brain storming with you, not at all trying to change things up! lol... OK, so again just being clinical (then later we an add real life, haha)..... if we were making an out of the box kind of behavior plan (the ones for OUR kids not the standard dumb ones with a sticker and reward a week later)... the first thing we do is find out how often they need a reinforcer, how long their tolerance for waiting is. Maybe once a week for some things is not enough. I am not saying whenever he needs it, but usually when we do a plan we reinforce frequently at first to establish a behavior, and then pull back to less and less. eventually hoping we can do random which maintains behaviors for typical kids, but for ours can as you said...make them nuts. So, without looking like you are giving IN, can you just let him know that you are re-doing his plan for now.... put it in a way that says you always review plans and you think that as team (last name) you think this may help with some of the struggles right now... Is there a way to do some of the things more frequently than once a week... or only after X amount of work (I am making stuff up here since I don t know what your rules are... and I so admire that you have those, they will in the end be what makes him learn all of this...)... Maybe he just really truly does need more frequent reinforcement so needs lower guidelines or more chances??? If they are things that push him over the edge then obviously not... and some things...maybe would work to do this but some no way. I hope you remind me of this when I am falling apart again, I feel like I am missing a clue right now and I think it is medication related, but I suspect it is also as we talked about elsewhere, MY level of stress around him... not able to hide it as well lately. Because guess what? while i was typing this school called AGAIN! holy heck, I still think a cruise with all of us on one deck and our difficult child's on the padded deck will work wonders. Who ever comes out alive we take home (those are the bobbie prizes, lol). [/QUOTE]
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