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General Parenting
Therapy for us parents - does it help?
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<blockquote data-quote="hipperq" data-source="post: 551703" data-attributes="member: 15192"><p>I've had I think 6 therapists since my son was diagnosed, 13 years ago. Two were pretty good, three were awful, never went back, and the one I have now is a really good (but not perfect) fit. Talking about what is going on helps. Having her point out things I don't see about my own stress helps. Talking to someone who won't be hurt by whatever I'm thinking/saying is very helpful.</p><p></p><p>I'm a hobby photographer, too. I do bugs mostly at the moment. Sometimes 10 minutes of flipping a couple rocks over to see what's underneath or checking out whatever's blooming near my house can put a little spot of fun and exciting in my life. </p><p></p><p>When the kids were younger and I was at home all day, the minute my husband would walk in the door I'd tell him "I quit" and go sit on the front porch for 15 minutes. </p><p></p><p>Walking helps a lot. My psychiatrist told me I should not nap in the morning as soon as I get the last kid on the bus (what I'd really like to do) and to walk instead. I hate it until I'm actually out the door, then I'm glad I did it. Doesn't work as well in the winter, though.</p><p></p><p>I read a lot. When I'm stressed I can't deal with novels (I get all caught up in the characters' stress) but I will read magazines or non-fiction. Making a list of the little, good or funny things that happened to me on a given day has helped, particularly when I feel like every day has been exactly the same: torture, and every day from now on will be, too. </p><p></p><p>I like to sing, loudly and badly. Boogieing to music while doing chores is a real de-stressor for me. Reading on line about other people's struggles helps me feel much less alone. Prayer used to do much the same, both prayers someone else read (that reminded me that people have been dealing with issues like mine for hundreds of years) and prayer of my own asking for help, acknowledging what I'm going through or being thankful for the good things I also have. I don't use that one as much any more. </p><p></p><p>But the biggest help of all for me is actually face-to-face chatting with other moms, particularly moms with at least somewhat challenging children. Playdates worked, if I could sit and talk while the kids were playing. Support groups worked. sometimes I'd just run into someone waiting to pick my kids up from some activity and we'd hit it off. Occasionally a family member will help, too. </p><p></p><p>Good luck, hang in there. Just asking yourself questions about what you could possibly do to make life more tolerable is a step in the right direction. And remember, this, too, will pass; life will be different (and probably better) in the future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hipperq, post: 551703, member: 15192"] I've had I think 6 therapists since my son was diagnosed, 13 years ago. Two were pretty good, three were awful, never went back, and the one I have now is a really good (but not perfect) fit. Talking about what is going on helps. Having her point out things I don't see about my own stress helps. Talking to someone who won't be hurt by whatever I'm thinking/saying is very helpful. I'm a hobby photographer, too. I do bugs mostly at the moment. Sometimes 10 minutes of flipping a couple rocks over to see what's underneath or checking out whatever's blooming near my house can put a little spot of fun and exciting in my life. When the kids were younger and I was at home all day, the minute my husband would walk in the door I'd tell him "I quit" and go sit on the front porch for 15 minutes. Walking helps a lot. My psychiatrist told me I should not nap in the morning as soon as I get the last kid on the bus (what I'd really like to do) and to walk instead. I hate it until I'm actually out the door, then I'm glad I did it. Doesn't work as well in the winter, though. I read a lot. When I'm stressed I can't deal with novels (I get all caught up in the characters' stress) but I will read magazines or non-fiction. Making a list of the little, good or funny things that happened to me on a given day has helped, particularly when I feel like every day has been exactly the same: torture, and every day from now on will be, too. I like to sing, loudly and badly. Boogieing to music while doing chores is a real de-stressor for me. Reading on line about other people's struggles helps me feel much less alone. Prayer used to do much the same, both prayers someone else read (that reminded me that people have been dealing with issues like mine for hundreds of years) and prayer of my own asking for help, acknowledging what I'm going through or being thankful for the good things I also have. I don't use that one as much any more. But the biggest help of all for me is actually face-to-face chatting with other moms, particularly moms with at least somewhat challenging children. Playdates worked, if I could sit and talk while the kids were playing. Support groups worked. sometimes I'd just run into someone waiting to pick my kids up from some activity and we'd hit it off. Occasionally a family member will help, too. Good luck, hang in there. Just asking yourself questions about what you could possibly do to make life more tolerable is a step in the right direction. And remember, this, too, will pass; life will be different (and probably better) in the future. [/QUOTE]
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