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Therapy isn't to challenge them. WHAT??
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 123524" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Hmmmm. I am thinking that um.....maybe therapist is thinking that challengeing her reality makes her too defensive to work on ways to cope with whatever her reality is? Many of us can learn to cope with things, no matter what those things are.....and maybe thats the true goal------to learn to cope and live in spite of whatever reality? Learn how to live with it. </p><p>And maybe there is some "you get more flies with honey" in there, too? </p><p>Challengeing what Kanga thinks is her reality takes focus and time and effort away from learning to work on how to cope in spite of what the reality might be? MY son sees colors very different than we do-----we no longer challenge his perception, and since we no longer challenge his perception of colors, he has begun to simply "go with the flow" and accept the colors are what we say they are....and none of us get sidetracked by being put into a position of feeling defensive. He has then been able to use his focus to identify the colors in a way that makes it possible for all of us to know what he is trying to say about what color is what. It has freed up his energies to learn how to identify important colors in other ways, becuz we no longer get sidetracked about what the color is or isn't. Kangas realities might always be skewed, but if she is given the chance to not have to be defensive, she may still learn positive acceptable ways to react to her perceptions. </p><p></p><p>When I read the title of the thread, what came to my mind is-----depends on what you mean by "challenge" A person getting therapy needs to buy into the therapy, or it is not going to work. giving them ever increasing goals to meet seems to me to be a positive kind of challenge. Enagaging in an I'm right, you'rs screwy might not be the best kind of therapeutic challenge? </p><p>When I worked with ALzheimers patients back in 1990 reality orientation was popular. Our unit stopped useing heavy duty reality orientation. We would be butting heads with patients who thought we were stranger danger when we were trying to bathe them etc. It did not matter how many times we TOLD them we were only trying to help them......what we found worked better for meeting goals and getting desired behavior was to work with them, find out what their reality was and work with things from there, and then, batheing and dressing and feeding became possible. </p><p>People are going to trust what their own senses are telling them far more easily than they are going to trust someone elses say so. </p><p>When my easy child began to drive, I told her NEVER EVER "go" at a stoplight just cuz the person behind her honked or becuz her passenger was in a hurry and SAID it was OK to "go" I told her she needs to make that judgement for herself. Go if SHE feels it is good and right to go, trust HERSELF. If there is an accident and crash, it is going to be her that has to live with those ramifications. </p><p></p><p>Maybe Kanga is makeigng accusations, and maybe they are wrong.......maybe she can be taught how to handle it when she has an accusation to make-----how to talk it over with someone she trusts. She may be far more willing to work at it from that direction than from just being told, no, thats not true.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 123524, member: 1697"] Hmmmm. I am thinking that um.....maybe therapist is thinking that challengeing her reality makes her too defensive to work on ways to cope with whatever her reality is? Many of us can learn to cope with things, no matter what those things are.....and maybe thats the true goal------to learn to cope and live in spite of whatever reality? Learn how to live with it. And maybe there is some "you get more flies with honey" in there, too? Challengeing what Kanga thinks is her reality takes focus and time and effort away from learning to work on how to cope in spite of what the reality might be? MY son sees colors very different than we do-----we no longer challenge his perception, and since we no longer challenge his perception of colors, he has begun to simply "go with the flow" and accept the colors are what we say they are....and none of us get sidetracked by being put into a position of feeling defensive. He has then been able to use his focus to identify the colors in a way that makes it possible for all of us to know what he is trying to say about what color is what. It has freed up his energies to learn how to identify important colors in other ways, becuz we no longer get sidetracked about what the color is or isn't. Kangas realities might always be skewed, but if she is given the chance to not have to be defensive, she may still learn positive acceptable ways to react to her perceptions. When I read the title of the thread, what came to my mind is-----depends on what you mean by "challenge" A person getting therapy needs to buy into the therapy, or it is not going to work. giving them ever increasing goals to meet seems to me to be a positive kind of challenge. Enagaging in an I'm right, you'rs screwy might not be the best kind of therapeutic challenge? When I worked with ALzheimers patients back in 1990 reality orientation was popular. Our unit stopped useing heavy duty reality orientation. We would be butting heads with patients who thought we were stranger danger when we were trying to bathe them etc. It did not matter how many times we TOLD them we were only trying to help them......what we found worked better for meeting goals and getting desired behavior was to work with them, find out what their reality was and work with things from there, and then, batheing and dressing and feeding became possible. People are going to trust what their own senses are telling them far more easily than they are going to trust someone elses say so. When my easy child began to drive, I told her NEVER EVER "go" at a stoplight just cuz the person behind her honked or becuz her passenger was in a hurry and SAID it was OK to "go" I told her she needs to make that judgement for herself. Go if SHE feels it is good and right to go, trust HERSELF. If there is an accident and crash, it is going to be her that has to live with those ramifications. Maybe Kanga is makeigng accusations, and maybe they are wrong.......maybe she can be taught how to handle it when she has an accusation to make-----how to talk it over with someone she trusts. She may be far more willing to work at it from that direction than from just being told, no, thats not true. [/QUOTE]
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Therapy isn't to challenge them. WHAT??
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