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There is a WRONG way to handle a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 352885" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Tourette's Syndrome- I feel for them too. I do think though, that some potential adoptive parents view things differently than others. Of course, that's looking at it from a bio-mom's perspective. It just appears to me that this lady, even though she had every reason to be at wits end probably, wasn't looking at this like she is committed to parenting and loving this child. She might have had reason to be upset with the agency - maybe they did do wrong and misrepresent things- but it was her responsibility as the adult to get an attny or whatever to deal with things and not treat this child like a product she ordered then changed her mind about because it wasn't what she expected. My son isn't what I expected either. Welcome to Holland. I think your point was the domino effect preventing potentially successful adoptions in the future and I agree, that is a shame. I hope whatever agencies and systems involved can provide more information, counseling, etc in the future to try to minimize the possibility of these bad situations occurring. But those who think adopting a child is like going out and buying a product that can be returned or that someone owes them something for raising "someone else's child" while still expecting to be treated like the "parent" or those who apparently think they can bring a child into their home and the child is going to automatically forget whatever they have left, whomever they might have bonded with, etc, and act like a easy child who adores and looks up to you without any emotional baggage really tic me off. I realize adoptive parents on this board aren't that way, and most aren't, but just like there can be bad bio-moms, there can be bad adoptive moms, too.</p><p></p><p>(That crankiness isn't directed to you Tourette's Syndrome, it's directed at that woman. It just really blows my cork that she was so upset with someone else for any reason that she risked the safety of a 7 yo and justified by basicly saying she would have been a good parent if he'd been a good enough kid. Parenting just doesn't work that way- even if he is a difficult child, she wasn't a good parent in my book. And yes, it is a shame that apparently there have been a few cases of this and it will effect those who are trying to adopt and be good parents.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 352885, member: 3699"] Tourette's Syndrome- I feel for them too. I do think though, that some potential adoptive parents view things differently than others. Of course, that's looking at it from a bio-mom's perspective. It just appears to me that this lady, even though she had every reason to be at wits end probably, wasn't looking at this like she is committed to parenting and loving this child. She might have had reason to be upset with the agency - maybe they did do wrong and misrepresent things- but it was her responsibility as the adult to get an attny or whatever to deal with things and not treat this child like a product she ordered then changed her mind about because it wasn't what she expected. My son isn't what I expected either. Welcome to Holland. I think your point was the domino effect preventing potentially successful adoptions in the future and I agree, that is a shame. I hope whatever agencies and systems involved can provide more information, counseling, etc in the future to try to minimize the possibility of these bad situations occurring. But those who think adopting a child is like going out and buying a product that can be returned or that someone owes them something for raising "someone else's child" while still expecting to be treated like the "parent" or those who apparently think they can bring a child into their home and the child is going to automatically forget whatever they have left, whomever they might have bonded with, etc, and act like a easy child who adores and looks up to you without any emotional baggage really tic me off. I realize adoptive parents on this board aren't that way, and most aren't, but just like there can be bad bio-moms, there can be bad adoptive moms, too. (That crankiness isn't directed to you Tourette's Syndrome, it's directed at that woman. It just really blows my cork that she was so upset with someone else for any reason that she risked the safety of a 7 yo and justified by basicly saying she would have been a good parent if he'd been a good enough kid. Parenting just doesn't work that way- even if he is a difficult child, she wasn't a good parent in my book. And yes, it is a shame that apparently there have been a few cases of this and it will effect those who are trying to adopt and be good parents.) [/QUOTE]
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