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There is a WRONG way to handle a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 352931" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I'm not weighing in as pro or con. From experience as a child advocate and a long time CD member, adoptions are very often "rigged" even in the USA. Potential parents with the best of intentions are misled in an effort to get the kids off the government roll. Withholding information is not uncommon. Children with fetal alcohol syndrome and PTSD are presented with-o proper diagnosis and with-o supports in place to attempt to overcome the damage. It is also not uncommon for a family to be foster adopts who lovingly support "their" child only to be told later that "if" they want the adoption to be completed they need to also adopt a difficult child sibling who is still in the system.</p><p> </p><p>By the age of 7 patterns are established. Honeymoon periods are most common. Then, when all H breaks loose, the adoptive parents are on their own facing serious lifelong issues. I believe that most of the time in the USA the</p><p>children have not been subject to abuse during the formative years...but if you read the statistics on the foster care system in our Country it indicates that many children are not nurtured. Lack of attachment and nurturing in the formative years is very difficult to overcome.</p><p> </p><p>Some years ago I watched an educational feature on the children in orphanages in Russia and neighboring countries and most were warehoused. Often they were not exposed to affection and spent most of their hours in</p><p>beds and cribs where their basic physical needs were met...only those needs.</p><p> </p><p>It is a very sad situation all around. My heart goes out to all the children in need of help. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 352931, member: 35"] I'm not weighing in as pro or con. From experience as a child advocate and a long time CD member, adoptions are very often "rigged" even in the USA. Potential parents with the best of intentions are misled in an effort to get the kids off the government roll. Withholding information is not uncommon. Children with fetal alcohol syndrome and PTSD are presented with-o proper diagnosis and with-o supports in place to attempt to overcome the damage. It is also not uncommon for a family to be foster adopts who lovingly support "their" child only to be told later that "if" they want the adoption to be completed they need to also adopt a difficult child sibling who is still in the system. By the age of 7 patterns are established. Honeymoon periods are most common. Then, when all H breaks loose, the adoptive parents are on their own facing serious lifelong issues. I believe that most of the time in the USA the children have not been subject to abuse during the formative years...but if you read the statistics on the foster care system in our Country it indicates that many children are not nurtured. Lack of attachment and nurturing in the formative years is very difficult to overcome. Some years ago I watched an educational feature on the children in orphanages in Russia and neighboring countries and most were warehoused. Often they were not exposed to affection and spent most of their hours in beds and cribs where their basic physical needs were met...only those needs. It is a very sad situation all around. My heart goes out to all the children in need of help. DDD [/QUOTE]
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There is a WRONG way to handle a difficult child
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