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There is a WRONG way to handle a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 352967" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I hate to judge the mother without more information. But even so, who would put a child alone on a plane for such a trip?? Any child, let alone a difficult child with severe issues? </p><p></p><p>This is a problem here too though, adopting kids with mental issues only to discover them after the adoption is final. But to me, like with birth....you wanted that child, there are no guarantees anyone will have a easy child, so why wouldn't you parent them as you would had the child been born into the family?</p><p></p><p>sister in law's Mom is a piece of work. She decided she just had to have a little girl. (she had 4 sons) So she found out that adopting here is often easier done as a foster parent. Next thing we know she has gone thru classes and starts having young girls who are either pregnant or have an infant as foster kids. One of the young girls was severely mentally ill for various reasons....genetic and environmental.....so much so that she will remain a ward of the state indefinately. sister in law's mother decided to adopt her 1 yr old daughter. I attempted to caution her as both the baby's parents were reported to have had schizophrenia which increases the child's odds of having it to 1 in 4. Mother and child lived with the family 3 yrs. Mother finally became such a threat the state removed her from the home and left the child behind. sister in law Mom continued with the adoption although the little girl was already showing signs of being a pretty heavy duty difficult child. (which could be from neglect/abuse from bio mom and not necessarily schizo behaviors) </p><p></p><p>The child is now 7 yrs old. She is still a pretty major difficult child. sister in law's Mom denies she has issues and has as yet to even attempt to have her evaled, let alone treated. To make matters worse.........she was in her 40's when she adopted and was always one of those lazy type parents to begin with. So the child is not really being parented / nutured on top of it. Aggravates me every time I see the little girl. Yes, she's not in the system anymore but she still managed to get a raw deal. I dread when this child gets older.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 352967, member: 84"] I hate to judge the mother without more information. But even so, who would put a child alone on a plane for such a trip?? Any child, let alone a difficult child with severe issues? This is a problem here too though, adopting kids with mental issues only to discover them after the adoption is final. But to me, like with birth....you wanted that child, there are no guarantees anyone will have a easy child, so why wouldn't you parent them as you would had the child been born into the family? sister in law's Mom is a piece of work. She decided she just had to have a little girl. (she had 4 sons) So she found out that adopting here is often easier done as a foster parent. Next thing we know she has gone thru classes and starts having young girls who are either pregnant or have an infant as foster kids. One of the young girls was severely mentally ill for various reasons....genetic and environmental.....so much so that she will remain a ward of the state indefinately. sister in law's mother decided to adopt her 1 yr old daughter. I attempted to caution her as both the baby's parents were reported to have had schizophrenia which increases the child's odds of having it to 1 in 4. Mother and child lived with the family 3 yrs. Mother finally became such a threat the state removed her from the home and left the child behind. sister in law Mom continued with the adoption although the little girl was already showing signs of being a pretty heavy duty difficult child. (which could be from neglect/abuse from bio mom and not necessarily schizo behaviors) The child is now 7 yrs old. She is still a pretty major difficult child. sister in law's Mom denies she has issues and has as yet to even attempt to have her evaled, let alone treated. To make matters worse.........she was in her 40's when she adopted and was always one of those lazy type parents to begin with. So the child is not really being parented / nutured on top of it. Aggravates me every time I see the little girl. Yes, she's not in the system anymore but she still managed to get a raw deal. I dread when this child gets older. [/QUOTE]
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