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These last miles are a bear
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 120396" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>slsh,</p><p> It is a marathon as I sit at mile marker 23. What changed was me. I constantly had as my goal to get difficult child to change his behavior and grow up to be independent. A cure to be exact. He couldn't/wouldn't do it. </p><p>Now, my goal is to get him in an environment that he can reach his full potential and go as far as he can or wishes to go. </p><p></p><p>In our case, I do not believe difficult child has the correct circuitry to see what he needs for a future. Can not see that his anxiety stops him from success. Can not see that the same behaviors result in the same response. </p><p></p><p>The real world of living in an apt. alone with all our supports was not a life. He told me he learned to not argue with the boss(this is a big lesson). So life experiences have forced his thinking process to where all the practice sessions didn't. take him. </p><p></p><p>We didn't/couldn't abandon him. He doesn't have the ability to be on his own completely. We didn't coddle him. We didn't let him go hungry. We were prepared for that to be his life. Fortunately, he didn't want that forever. He has taken some initiative. </p><p></p><p>I think when I told him that I promised to never make him go to school again that he was shocked and maybe a little upset. I think he read that I gave up. He needed the gut check.</p><p></p><p>You are in the transition of realizing his potential and realizing he isn't going to be cured. Not in the immediate future. Considering Abbey's experience, you may see something happen in his 20's after he has fallen and stumbled a few times.</p><p></p><p>You have my sympathies. I feel at peace with difficult child's life wherever it may take him. He gets to make choices and I will support the ones that are healthy. Other choices are his to figure out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 120396, member: 3"] slsh, It is a marathon as I sit at mile marker 23. What changed was me. I constantly had as my goal to get difficult child to change his behavior and grow up to be independent. A cure to be exact. He couldn't/wouldn't do it. Now, my goal is to get him in an environment that he can reach his full potential and go as far as he can or wishes to go. In our case, I do not believe difficult child has the correct circuitry to see what he needs for a future. Can not see that his anxiety stops him from success. Can not see that the same behaviors result in the same response. The real world of living in an apt. alone with all our supports was not a life. He told me he learned to not argue with the boss(this is a big lesson). So life experiences have forced his thinking process to where all the practice sessions didn't. take him. We didn't/couldn't abandon him. He doesn't have the ability to be on his own completely. We didn't coddle him. We didn't let him go hungry. We were prepared for that to be his life. Fortunately, he didn't want that forever. He has taken some initiative. I think when I told him that I promised to never make him go to school again that he was shocked and maybe a little upset. I think he read that I gave up. He needed the gut check. You are in the transition of realizing his potential and realizing he isn't going to be cured. Not in the immediate future. Considering Abbey's experience, you may see something happen in his 20's after he has fallen and stumbled a few times. You have my sympathies. I feel at peace with difficult child's life wherever it may take him. He gets to make choices and I will support the ones that are healthy. Other choices are his to figure out. [/QUOTE]
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