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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 224515"><p>Jo, I completely understand. I always dread gift exchanges with anyone except my mom and kids. My dad would go to the store where they sold 'irregular items' and buy clothes for me. The sweats, omg, one leg hit my shin and the other one hung over my foot. The jersey had Illinois written on it backwards (and Illinois? I have no idea.) One year when I was pregnant with Wynter, he went to this thrift shop they have where he lives where all clothes are a quarter (he's not poor). When I was 13, I got a remote control car. Actually, everyone did - my brother, dad's girlfriend, my uncles. Because my dad liked them and wanted to play with them. And you have to act excited so you don't hurt anyone's feelings.</p><p></p><p>Devon was just talking about this last night. Every year his dad asks him what he wants for Christmas. And every year, Devon tells him money. His dad wants to get him actual gifts, so Devon tells him what he wants. And every year his dad says that's not enough. Then proceeds to not buy him what he asked for at all anyway. And then they get him clothes. And his dad expects this huge display of excitement. If they would at least include gift receipts it would be ok.</p><p></p><p>Now, I'm a firm believer that you never buy clothes for a person unless you were shopping with them, they saw something, expressed how much they liked it AND you know their size. A robe my dad got me one year was a size 22. I weighed 125 pounds. My stepfather wears it. He's not a large man, but it's comfy and he's blind so he doesn't care that it's pink. And buying clothes for teens without them there to approve it is just a bad idea. But, Devon's dad would buy him all of these clothes that Devon would never wear. I don't know if he thought if he bought them that Devon would wear them because they were the kind of clothes he wants Devon to wear or what. All it really ends up being is a colossal waste of money. He'd come home with the clothes and we would parcel them out to friends and goodwill. </p><p></p><p>His problem is like yours. They don't know him, nor do they take the time to know him. They have an idea of what they want him to be and don't want him to be himself. </p><p></p><p>Besides, clothes are a necessity. To me, gift giving is about giving a person something they might want, but don't need. It's not about the gift, but about thinking about the person and wanting to give them something they would appreciate and enjoy. When you put so much into it and they don't, it hurts. </p><p></p><p>I like the idea of the email. I just wonder if it's too close to Christmas and they've already bought.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 224515"] Jo, I completely understand. I always dread gift exchanges with anyone except my mom and kids. My dad would go to the store where they sold 'irregular items' and buy clothes for me. The sweats, omg, one leg hit my shin and the other one hung over my foot. The jersey had Illinois written on it backwards (and Illinois? I have no idea.) One year when I was pregnant with Wynter, he went to this thrift shop they have where he lives where all clothes are a quarter (he's not poor). When I was 13, I got a remote control car. Actually, everyone did - my brother, dad's girlfriend, my uncles. Because my dad liked them and wanted to play with them. And you have to act excited so you don't hurt anyone's feelings. Devon was just talking about this last night. Every year his dad asks him what he wants for Christmas. And every year, Devon tells him money. His dad wants to get him actual gifts, so Devon tells him what he wants. And every year his dad says that's not enough. Then proceeds to not buy him what he asked for at all anyway. And then they get him clothes. And his dad expects this huge display of excitement. If they would at least include gift receipts it would be ok. Now, I'm a firm believer that you never buy clothes for a person unless you were shopping with them, they saw something, expressed how much they liked it AND you know their size. A robe my dad got me one year was a size 22. I weighed 125 pounds. My stepfather wears it. He's not a large man, but it's comfy and he's blind so he doesn't care that it's pink. And buying clothes for teens without them there to approve it is just a bad idea. But, Devon's dad would buy him all of these clothes that Devon would never wear. I don't know if he thought if he bought them that Devon would wear them because they were the kind of clothes he wants Devon to wear or what. All it really ends up being is a colossal waste of money. He'd come home with the clothes and we would parcel them out to friends and goodwill. His problem is like yours. They don't know him, nor do they take the time to know him. They have an idea of what they want him to be and don't want him to be himself. Besides, clothes are a necessity. To me, gift giving is about giving a person something they might want, but don't need. It's not about the gift, but about thinking about the person and wanting to give them something they would appreciate and enjoy. When you put so much into it and they don't, it hurts. I like the idea of the email. I just wonder if it's too close to Christmas and they've already bought. [/QUOTE]
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