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General Parenting
They Just Wont Listen!!
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 459699" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Have you read "The Explosive Child" yet? That would be a starting place.</p><p></p><p>Even for neurotypical kids, though - and I'm going to assume for now that the two younger ones are neurotypical - there are lots of reasons for "not listening". </p><p>Like...</p><p>1) Too many rules. One school principal I know reduced the school rules from <u>20 pages</u> to <u>3 rules</u>... and went from spending 90% of his time enforcing rules, to spending 10% enforcing rules and the rest was leadership, staff development, etc. Something to think about.</p><p></p><p>2) Structure - too much, or too little, doesn't work - and it varies a bit with each child. But... consistency is important even for neurotypical kids, and absolutely vital for difficult child kids.</p><p></p><p>3) Parental stress. OK, this is a tough one. You have a difficult child. Of course you're stressed out. But the kids do not understand that. So... you need to find ways to manage your own stress level - you're working on that, I'm sure - things like micro-breaks, and your own therapist if you need that, getting your sleep, etc. Parenting is a tough job at the best of times... and your job is not "the best of times".</p><p></p><p>Those are just top-of-the-head things...</p><p></p><p>Can you give us some specific examples? Others might see trends etc. and have some insight to share...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 459699, member: 11791"] Have you read "The Explosive Child" yet? That would be a starting place. Even for neurotypical kids, though - and I'm going to assume for now that the two younger ones are neurotypical - there are lots of reasons for "not listening". Like... 1) Too many rules. One school principal I know reduced the school rules from [U]20 pages[/U] to [U]3 rules[/U]... and went from spending 90% of his time enforcing rules, to spending 10% enforcing rules and the rest was leadership, staff development, etc. Something to think about. 2) Structure - too much, or too little, doesn't work - and it varies a bit with each child. But... consistency is important even for neurotypical kids, and absolutely vital for difficult child kids. 3) Parental stress. OK, this is a tough one. You have a difficult child. Of course you're stressed out. But the kids do not understand that. So... you need to find ways to manage your own stress level - you're working on that, I'm sure - things like micro-breaks, and your own therapist if you need that, getting your sleep, etc. Parenting is a tough job at the best of times... and your job is not "the best of times". Those are just top-of-the-head things... Can you give us some specific examples? Others might see trends etc. and have some insight to share... [/QUOTE]
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