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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 704868" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Yes! We did let our son come back for a time and it was ... pretty okay? He got a job. He was paying us 1/2 his check to hold for a place of his own. He was still lazy and entitled, but better than he had been. Still, he had the same "friends" causing problems for him (him being part of the problem as well) and it's too easy to fall into the "Mother and Child" dynamic. Why ask him to do something, when it's faster to do it yourself? You see him doing something non-adult - failing to shower, skipping work, ignoring a bill - and it's too easy to "nag". What adult needs to be told to get a good night's sleep before work? None! But it happened when he was here. </p><p></p><p>With him actually homeless now - it's oddly easier for me.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm like TL. I have a problem with pot, because it's NOT legal here, and so it was a deal-breaker if we knew about it. My son doesn't seem to have a problem with alcohol, but it bothered me to have him drinking at home even over 21. It was the WAY he drank. Not just a beer every now and then with a meal or out at a BBQ or even splitting a pitcher with friends; his thing would be making a mixed drink every night or if he didn't do that, then shutting him up with a 6-pack, while playing on-line to drink alone over the course of a few hours. We'd be having a soda and watching TV and he'd have a beer - and be the only one drinking. That was just odd and off-putting - it just seems drinking alone is kind of pathetic. I'd have felt the same way if it was my brother instead of my son - or at least, kind of the same.</p><p></p><p>Jabber wanted a NO DRINKING rule...but I felt that was hypocritical, as we have a glass of wine now and then and if he drank like we do, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. It became an issue.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 704868, member: 17309"] Yes! We did let our son come back for a time and it was ... pretty okay? He got a job. He was paying us 1/2 his check to hold for a place of his own. He was still lazy and entitled, but better than he had been. Still, he had the same "friends" causing problems for him (him being part of the problem as well) and it's too easy to fall into the "Mother and Child" dynamic. Why ask him to do something, when it's faster to do it yourself? You see him doing something non-adult - failing to shower, skipping work, ignoring a bill - and it's too easy to "nag". What adult needs to be told to get a good night's sleep before work? None! But it happened when he was here. With him actually homeless now - it's oddly easier for me. I'm like TL. I have a problem with pot, because it's NOT legal here, and so it was a deal-breaker if we knew about it. My son doesn't seem to have a problem with alcohol, but it bothered me to have him drinking at home even over 21. It was the WAY he drank. Not just a beer every now and then with a meal or out at a BBQ or even splitting a pitcher with friends; his thing would be making a mixed drink every night or if he didn't do that, then shutting him up with a 6-pack, while playing on-line to drink alone over the course of a few hours. We'd be having a soda and watching TV and he'd have a beer - and be the only one drinking. That was just odd and off-putting - it just seems drinking alone is kind of pathetic. I'd have felt the same way if it was my brother instead of my son - or at least, kind of the same. Jabber wanted a NO DRINKING rule...but I felt that was hypocritical, as we have a glass of wine now and then and if he drank like we do, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. It became an issue. [/QUOTE]
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