Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Things are tough
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704869" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>TL. It is not that I believe marijuana or drinking are immoral. That is not what I intended to say.</p><p></p><p>It is that I want to think that as his parent, I can represent the commitment to a moral life.</p><p> This is tough. The having to negotiate with Miguel about these things. We have different views too. M wants a clean drug test before my son comes home. (He wants to.) And I know that he was probably using heavily and the effects might be in his system for 3 weeks.) It seems to me a large hurdle, possibly a too large hurdle, one that my son would feel he could not surmount. He may feel he needs to come home.</p><p></p><p>You see, I am grappling with the possibility that my son NEEDS US rather than USES US only. I have up until now seen all of this as a question of WILL. As his opposing us. As his domination of us. As a power play. And I still do, mostly. Because my son is humble when he has no money and arrogant and imposing at the beginning of the month, when he does have money. But that does not mean my son is necessarily playing with a full deck.</p><p></p><p>Both things may be true: He needs to feel (appropriately) power in his life. But he needs us. He wants to be near us. And he may also need the marijuana. This is the BIG ISSUE with M. Because, like Jabber, he believes strongly that my son can and should obey a limit.</p><p></p><p>Can somebody please tell me why this is so hard, and cannot at least let up at Christmas?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704869, member: 18958"] TL. It is not that I believe marijuana or drinking are immoral. That is not what I intended to say. It is that I want to think that as his parent, I can represent the commitment to a moral life. This is tough. The having to negotiate with Miguel about these things. We have different views too. M wants a clean drug test before my son comes home. (He wants to.) And I know that he was probably using heavily and the effects might be in his system for 3 weeks.) It seems to me a large hurdle, possibly a too large hurdle, one that my son would feel he could not surmount. He may feel he needs to come home. You see, I am grappling with the possibility that my son NEEDS US rather than USES US only. I have up until now seen all of this as a question of WILL. As his opposing us. As his domination of us. As a power play. And I still do, mostly. Because my son is humble when he has no money and arrogant and imposing at the beginning of the month, when he does have money. But that does not mean my son is necessarily playing with a full deck. Both things may be true: He needs to feel (appropriately) power in his life. But he needs us. He wants to be near us. And he may also need the marijuana. This is the BIG ISSUE with M. Because, like Jabber, he believes strongly that my son can and should obey a limit. Can somebody please tell me why this is so hard, and cannot at least let up at Christmas? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Things are tough
Top