Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Things are tough
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 704890" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I totally get what you are saying Copa. I think one of the challenges we all have is the transition from parenting a child or teen to parenting an adult. I have a daughter who is very together in many ways and this transition with her is totally natural. She is 21, an adult and acts like it in so many ways. I trust her judgement. She calls me for advice and I give it when she asks for it. Our relationship is not totally equal as friends in that she still thinks the worlds revolves around her to some extent and is less interested in what is going on with me. But I remember that stage myself so it doesn't bother me. </p><p></p><p>The transition is harder with my older son because of all the problems he has including the substance use. I think at this point he does needs us in a way that she doesn't (which is why he is home). At the same time I am trying to take the lessons I am learning from parenting my daughter and treat my son like an adult even if he doesn't always act like it. So I am trying to stay out of his business unless it directly affects me.</p><p></p><p>And although his drinking alone in his room bothers me and so does affect me, I think what affects me is my reaction rather than his direct actions... because he is keeping his drunkenness away from me. Some of the time when he is in his room he may not be drinking I really dont know.</p><p></p><p>Definitely no answers here.... and I think it is harder during the holidays because of all the "happy" family stuff around us. We have this image of how it should be and we are faced with the reality of what it is really.</p><p></p><p>The other morning at church I was feeling a bit sorry for myself that I couldn't have both my kids getting along happily together at Xmas as I watched other families with their kids home from college. During the service we light a candle for joys and concerns. Someone got up lit a candle and just said Aleppo. And it put it all into perspective. Things could be much much worse.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and everyone here at this time.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 704890, member: 15801"] I totally get what you are saying Copa. I think one of the challenges we all have is the transition from parenting a child or teen to parenting an adult. I have a daughter who is very together in many ways and this transition with her is totally natural. She is 21, an adult and acts like it in so many ways. I trust her judgement. She calls me for advice and I give it when she asks for it. Our relationship is not totally equal as friends in that she still thinks the worlds revolves around her to some extent and is less interested in what is going on with me. But I remember that stage myself so it doesn't bother me. The transition is harder with my older son because of all the problems he has including the substance use. I think at this point he does needs us in a way that she doesn't (which is why he is home). At the same time I am trying to take the lessons I am learning from parenting my daughter and treat my son like an adult even if he doesn't always act like it. So I am trying to stay out of his business unless it directly affects me. And although his drinking alone in his room bothers me and so does affect me, I think what affects me is my reaction rather than his direct actions... because he is keeping his drunkenness away from me. Some of the time when he is in his room he may not be drinking I really dont know. Definitely no answers here.... and I think it is harder during the holidays because of all the "happy" family stuff around us. We have this image of how it should be and we are faced with the reality of what it is really. The other morning at church I was feeling a bit sorry for myself that I couldn't have both my kids getting along happily together at Xmas as I watched other families with their kids home from college. During the service we light a candle for joys and concerns. Someone got up lit a candle and just said Aleppo. And it put it all into perspective. Things could be much much worse. Hugs to you and everyone here at this time. TL [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Things are tough
Top