Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Things are tough
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 705920" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>It's so hard when our homes have a swinging door for our DCs. Do we let them live here or not? Like RE said early on, it's best when it's temporary and everybody knows it's temporary.</p><p></p><p>Think about it: We know that all grown "kids", DCs or not, need to get out on their own and learn how to make it in the world. That's no different with DCs. I personally believe that no grown adult kids need to live with their parents. It's just not a good dynamic, too much baggage, expectations and "stuff" swirling around. </p><p></p><p>But, for a time, as people need to get back on their feet for whatever reason, of course that is reasonable, I believe. (these are just my beliefs). </p><p></p><p>Right now, my 53 year old brother, who is an active alcoholic, lives with my parents. He has been there for 5 years. He has no life outside his job and drinking and our parents. He is helpful to them in their home, and respectful and there aren't any issues like stealing, etc. But he has no life, no friends, no relationships, and his drinking is getting worse and worse. This is not a good situation for anybody and it's not going to change. My parents can't set boundaries and he isn't going to leave. They are all in a sick dance that isn't good for anybody because none of them can take steps to get healthy. It is sad. It is beyond sad. I believe it is a tragic waste of human life and potential. But my brother is very sick and he doesn't see anything clearly. And my parents are almost 85. My sister and I just stand back and realize we can't do anything about this. It is very frustrating sometimes when I have to rethink it all over again. Then I let it go for a long time.</p><p></p><p>So I've seen it on both ends. My Difficult Child living here (disaster) and my brother, living there. It's just not good. </p><p></p><p>But I also realize that it is the hardest thing in the whole world to kick out our own children. I did it multiple times and I finally realized I was doing the right thing for me and for him, even though it nearly killed me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 705920, member: 17542"] It's so hard when our homes have a swinging door for our DCs. Do we let them live here or not? Like RE said early on, it's best when it's temporary and everybody knows it's temporary. Think about it: We know that all grown "kids", DCs or not, need to get out on their own and learn how to make it in the world. That's no different with DCs. I personally believe that no grown adult kids need to live with their parents. It's just not a good dynamic, too much baggage, expectations and "stuff" swirling around. But, for a time, as people need to get back on their feet for whatever reason, of course that is reasonable, I believe. (these are just my beliefs). Right now, my 53 year old brother, who is an active alcoholic, lives with my parents. He has been there for 5 years. He has no life outside his job and drinking and our parents. He is helpful to them in their home, and respectful and there aren't any issues like stealing, etc. But he has no life, no friends, no relationships, and his drinking is getting worse and worse. This is not a good situation for anybody and it's not going to change. My parents can't set boundaries and he isn't going to leave. They are all in a sick dance that isn't good for anybody because none of them can take steps to get healthy. It is sad. It is beyond sad. I believe it is a tragic waste of human life and potential. But my brother is very sick and he doesn't see anything clearly. And my parents are almost 85. My sister and I just stand back and realize we can't do anything about this. It is very frustrating sometimes when I have to rethink it all over again. Then I let it go for a long time. So I've seen it on both ends. My Difficult Child living here (disaster) and my brother, living there. It's just not good. But I also realize that it is the hardest thing in the whole world to kick out our own children. I did it multiple times and I finally realized I was doing the right thing for me and for him, even though it nearly killed me. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Things are tough
Top