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Substance Abuse
Things are tough
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 704790" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>TL</p><p></p><p>Agree. If they are drinking in their room that is not normal and does not make you feel good. Even when my son was home and not abusing pills, when he did stuff like that I was always upset.</p><p></p><p>We are going to Florida Friday to spend Christmas with our son. He texted me the other day about his gifts. He is not a child, he is 21. He wants a PS4. No. That is not something we're willing to buy for him. We did buy him prescription sunglasses a few weeks ago which I am okay with and will get him a few other items he NEEDS but I reminded him that we have a lot of money going out not only for him but in general. I told him we're his present! The holidays are about family, not gifts.</p><p></p><p>He then said he could come back home to live and it wouldn't cost us anything. I replied "the stress will kill me and I'm not ready to die". Sounds pretty dramatic but it's true. He doesn't push and let it go. Nice try!</p><p></p><p>TL it sounds like your son has one foot over the fence. That is sometimes how I describe my son too. He is trying to do the right thing but still gets pulled back into old behaviors that are not healthy. I probably would not allow him to drink in his room. If you are uncomfortable with it then why should you allow it? You are HELPING him and supportive of him by him being there which I understand but at 25 he really needs to put his nose to the grindstone and make a life for himself. </p><p></p><p>I know it's all so very hard and having them home puts you in the parenting role again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 704790, member: 15032"] TL Agree. If they are drinking in their room that is not normal and does not make you feel good. Even when my son was home and not abusing pills, when he did stuff like that I was always upset. We are going to Florida Friday to spend Christmas with our son. He texted me the other day about his gifts. He is not a child, he is 21. He wants a PS4. No. That is not something we're willing to buy for him. We did buy him prescription sunglasses a few weeks ago which I am okay with and will get him a few other items he NEEDS but I reminded him that we have a lot of money going out not only for him but in general. I told him we're his present! The holidays are about family, not gifts. He then said he could come back home to live and it wouldn't cost us anything. I replied "the stress will kill me and I'm not ready to die". Sounds pretty dramatic but it's true. He doesn't push and let it go. Nice try! TL it sounds like your son has one foot over the fence. That is sometimes how I describe my son too. He is trying to do the right thing but still gets pulled back into old behaviors that are not healthy. I probably would not allow him to drink in his room. If you are uncomfortable with it then why should you allow it? You are HELPING him and supportive of him by him being there which I understand but at 25 he really needs to put his nose to the grindstone and make a life for himself. I know it's all so very hard and having them home puts you in the parenting role again. [/QUOTE]
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