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Substance Abuse
Things are tough
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 704830" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>TL I have been there. Last January my daughter left her boyfriend (thank goodness) and moved back home. While I was glad she felt comfortable enough to move back with us and we promised to help her as long as she followed the rules, it was not long before I was longing for the days when she was on her own. She was drinking some, ok more than some, enough to make me worried, but she was going to work every day and respectful to us. But I worried day and night. We are too old to stay up all night wondering where she is and if she is driving after drinking. I found myself worrying all the time.</p><p></p><p>The deal was she would stay until summer and save enough to get a decent apartment and be able to buy some furniture. She wasn't saving much, spending it all partying, even though she was giving us $500 a month to keep for her. We started getting into small arguments. I was taking care of her dog so she could go out after work and ont he weekends. It came to a head and she announced she was moving out in April. She moved into a rental home next door to a co-worker who owned both homes. I grew up in that neighborhood years ago. It's a terrible neighborhood now with run down homes and shootings and carjackings all the time, lots of illegal activity. The house had no appliances. She had nothing except her bedroom set. I knew she was leaving because she didn't want to be under our thumb anymore. Although my husband and I hated where she was moving we were relieved to have our house alone again.</p><p></p><p>Once they leave it is very difficult to have them back home again. I learned that her personality did not change and she was still going to do the same things I didn't approve of before. It's much better with her on her own again. The worry is different, it isn't every day under my nose, it's more of a general worry. We get along much better now.</p><p></p><p>Your son needs to get a job and move on his own. That is the only way you will feel in control again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 704830, member: 59"] TL I have been there. Last January my daughter left her boyfriend (thank goodness) and moved back home. While I was glad she felt comfortable enough to move back with us and we promised to help her as long as she followed the rules, it was not long before I was longing for the days when she was on her own. She was drinking some, ok more than some, enough to make me worried, but she was going to work every day and respectful to us. But I worried day and night. We are too old to stay up all night wondering where she is and if she is driving after drinking. I found myself worrying all the time. The deal was she would stay until summer and save enough to get a decent apartment and be able to buy some furniture. She wasn't saving much, spending it all partying, even though she was giving us $500 a month to keep for her. We started getting into small arguments. I was taking care of her dog so she could go out after work and ont he weekends. It came to a head and she announced she was moving out in April. She moved into a rental home next door to a co-worker who owned both homes. I grew up in that neighborhood years ago. It's a terrible neighborhood now with run down homes and shootings and carjackings all the time, lots of illegal activity. The house had no appliances. She had nothing except her bedroom set. I knew she was leaving because she didn't want to be under our thumb anymore. Although my husband and I hated where she was moving we were relieved to have our house alone again. Once they leave it is very difficult to have them back home again. I learned that her personality did not change and she was still going to do the same things I didn't approve of before. It's much better with her on her own again. The worry is different, it isn't every day under my nose, it's more of a general worry. We get along much better now. Your son needs to get a job and move on his own. That is the only way you will feel in control again. [/QUOTE]
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