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General Parenting
Things I have learned... things that work.
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<blockquote data-quote="house of cards" data-source="post: 200721" data-attributes="member: 2005"><p>I think I have learned to lower my expectations but it saddens me to do it.</p><p></p><p> I've learned to ignore more then I ever thought I would.</p><p></p><p> I'm still learning to not care about others' opinions and still take my difficult child's to places that benefit them even if it is embarassing to me.</p><p></p><p> I think I always knew that a child dealing with extra **** needs extra hugs and acknowledgment that you see them working harder then NT kids.</p><p></p><p> I think I look hard for opportunities where my kids can find a feeling of success like cooking at home, art, whatever is their thing.</p><p></p><p> As far as dealing with the anger thing, I am torn. On the one hand the real world will hold them accountable and won't care "why" If you believe they can control it to any degree, I can understand working on it at the time it is happening, I can often get my difficult child back in line by mentioning the consequences of his behavior. It will make him stop and think and change his action. If you think it is beyond their ability, then to intervene at that moment would just be adding fuel to the fire. I think some kids have both situations and it is difficult to know which one you are in, in the moment. Either way, I know it helps my difficult child to speak in a neutral tone, I can usually do that.</p><p></p><p> I am sure, we are all in a difficult situation and will make many mistakes but our love for our kids keep us moving forward.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="house of cards, post: 200721, member: 2005"] I think I have learned to lower my expectations but it saddens me to do it. I've learned to ignore more then I ever thought I would. I'm still learning to not care about others' opinions and still take my difficult child's to places that benefit them even if it is embarassing to me. I think I always knew that a child dealing with extra **** needs extra hugs and acknowledgment that you see them working harder then NT kids. I think I look hard for opportunities where my kids can find a feeling of success like cooking at home, art, whatever is their thing. As far as dealing with the anger thing, I am torn. On the one hand the real world will hold them accountable and won't care "why" If you believe they can control it to any degree, I can understand working on it at the time it is happening, I can often get my difficult child back in line by mentioning the consequences of his behavior. It will make him stop and think and change his action. If you think it is beyond their ability, then to intervene at that moment would just be adding fuel to the fire. I think some kids have both situations and it is difficult to know which one you are in, in the moment. Either way, I know it helps my difficult child to speak in a neutral tone, I can usually do that. I am sure, we are all in a difficult situation and will make many mistakes but our love for our kids keep us moving forward. [/QUOTE]
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