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Things I have learned... things that work.
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 201015" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Like House of Cards, I've learned to lower my expectations. I've learned to pick and choose which behaviors I need to respond to. I ignore what I can. </p><p></p><p>When either one of my difficult children are in a rage, the first thing I do is to make sure everyone is safe. As long as safety isn't an issue, I totally ignore them until they're finished. (I'm lucky because most of the time my difficult children will rage in their rooms). There is an angel watching out for me, lol!!!</p><p></p><p>My difficult children know in advance what the consequences will be for their negative actions. Like Linda, (Timer Lady), I don't judge their anger. However, I believe it is necessary for them to be liable for the consequences of their actions. As someone else said, the world isn't going to go easy on them because of their issues. I try as hard as I can to prepare them for life in the "real" world.</p><p></p><p>I think the best advice I can give is to remain calm (at least on the outside). Don't raise your voice. Don't try to reason with an out of control difficult child. Ignore what you can. Talk to your difficult child only when he or she has calmed down.</p><p></p><p>Also, I've found that my difficult children need strict schedules and lots of advance notice when their routines are going to be interrupted. difficult child 2 needs this more than difficult child 1. By maintaining a scheduled time for bed, getting up, doing homework, etc., I've been able to cut down on the number of "tantrums" difficult child 2 has each day. (As difficult child 1 gets older, his "tantrums" are decreasing. However, I think this has alot to do with medications)</p><p></p><p>I think this is a great thread. Thanks Totoro for starting it. If I think of anything else, I'll (hopefully) be back later. difficult child 2 is making it difficult for me to think... Got to go. WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 201015, member: 3388"] Like House of Cards, I've learned to lower my expectations. I've learned to pick and choose which behaviors I need to respond to. I ignore what I can. When either one of my difficult children are in a rage, the first thing I do is to make sure everyone is safe. As long as safety isn't an issue, I totally ignore them until they're finished. (I'm lucky because most of the time my difficult children will rage in their rooms). There is an angel watching out for me, lol!!! My difficult children know in advance what the consequences will be for their negative actions. Like Linda, (Timer Lady), I don't judge their anger. However, I believe it is necessary for them to be liable for the consequences of their actions. As someone else said, the world isn't going to go easy on them because of their issues. I try as hard as I can to prepare them for life in the "real" world. I think the best advice I can give is to remain calm (at least on the outside). Don't raise your voice. Don't try to reason with an out of control difficult child. Ignore what you can. Talk to your difficult child only when he or she has calmed down. Also, I've found that my difficult children need strict schedules and lots of advance notice when their routines are going to be interrupted. difficult child 2 needs this more than difficult child 1. By maintaining a scheduled time for bed, getting up, doing homework, etc., I've been able to cut down on the number of "tantrums" difficult child 2 has each day. (As difficult child 1 gets older, his "tantrums" are decreasing. However, I think this has alot to do with medications) I think this is a great thread. Thanks Totoro for starting it. If I think of anything else, I'll (hopefully) be back later. difficult child 2 is making it difficult for me to think... Got to go. WFEN [/QUOTE]
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