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Thinking of cutting off communications with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="greenstockings" data-source="post: 616682" data-attributes="member: 17532"><p>This is my first post here. I've been reading for a couple of days.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child has, like many others, been trouble since birth. He is 22, was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD at age 5. I've always been skeptical about the ADHD part, but the ODD part is spot on. Over the past few years I've suspected that he may have a personality disorder, but he is so guarded and unwilling to actually talk to therapists that it's hard to make a diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>Anyway...long story short...he was removed from our home last week by EMTs and police, and taken to the ER, where he was admitted to psychiatric. I've spoken to him a couple of times by phone, and he blames me for all his problems. He says I'm overbearing. Everyone I've told this to just looks at me with a puzzled face and then laughs, because I'm one of the least demanding parents in the world. </p><p></p><p>I've decided not to call my son anymore. We have told him that he can't come back here to live (his most recent behavior was threatening and scary). He attempts to manipulate me on the phone, which is easy to do because I feel chronically guilty. I figure if he needs us, he knows where we are. I don't know where he will go when they discharge him, which could be any time....could have already happened, actually. I worry about him and love him, but I can't take the stress of dealing with a person who lacks empathy, feels entitled, and blames me for his troubles....all the while refusing to work, study, or even lift a finger to clean up after himself.</p><p></p><p>It's been a hard week.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenstockings, post: 616682, member: 17532"] This is my first post here. I've been reading for a couple of days. My difficult child has, like many others, been trouble since birth. He is 22, was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD at age 5. I've always been skeptical about the ADHD part, but the ODD part is spot on. Over the past few years I've suspected that he may have a personality disorder, but he is so guarded and unwilling to actually talk to therapists that it's hard to make a diagnosis. Anyway...long story short...he was removed from our home last week by EMTs and police, and taken to the ER, where he was admitted to psychiatric. I've spoken to him a couple of times by phone, and he blames me for all his problems. He says I'm overbearing. Everyone I've told this to just looks at me with a puzzled face and then laughs, because I'm one of the least demanding parents in the world. I've decided not to call my son anymore. We have told him that he can't come back here to live (his most recent behavior was threatening and scary). He attempts to manipulate me on the phone, which is easy to do because I feel chronically guilty. I figure if he needs us, he knows where we are. I don't know where he will go when they discharge him, which could be any time....could have already happened, actually. I worry about him and love him, but I can't take the stress of dealing with a person who lacks empathy, feels entitled, and blames me for his troubles....all the while refusing to work, study, or even lift a finger to clean up after himself. It's been a hard week. [/QUOTE]
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