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This evening was worse
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 263528" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>When my difficult child was in his lowest valley, he would tell me that he felt evil. His body would tell him to be evil and do bad things.</p><p> </p><p>Your difficult child really is not in control and he doesn't like it any more than you do. You have to remind him that he has the power to push that monster away. Knowing that he feels or looks like a monster at those times really is a plus. Crying means he is open to change. He doesn't like how he is feeling so the next question is how much work is he willing to put in proving that he is not the monster that he sometimes portrays.</p><p> </p><p>I would tell my difficult child that I know he does not want to be evil and that it is hard to fight those impulses and that he needs to really work on being the person he wants to be. When he started up, I would work on getting him to focus on who he really wants to be. Do you really want to be rude and disrespectful? Is this behavior going to make you the person you want to be? It often times helped change the focus from "how do I stop this?" to "where do you really want to go with this? What is your point?" (My difficult child was 11 yrs old at the time)</p><p> </p><p>It is not the answer but a little armor to use in the fight. My difficult child needed his medications but the more we focused on what he wanted to be instead of what he was becoming, the easier the battle became. I truly felt many many nights that my difficult child was headed to prison. It was scary and what your difficult child is experiencing is super scary to him and you.</p><p> </p><p>I hope psychiatrist can help. Just remember that it will take time for whatever medications or treatment route you choose to take effect.</p><p> </p><p>Didn't you have someplace for him to go during the Stop the World?</p><p> </p><p>I also would sometimes find a time later in the day or the next day and say, "You know, I really don't like how our evening went. What was going on? Why were you so upset?" That sometimes opened the door to talk about how difficult child could work on changing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 263528, member: 5096"] When my difficult child was in his lowest valley, he would tell me that he felt evil. His body would tell him to be evil and do bad things. Your difficult child really is not in control and he doesn't like it any more than you do. You have to remind him that he has the power to push that monster away. Knowing that he feels or looks like a monster at those times really is a plus. Crying means he is open to change. He doesn't like how he is feeling so the next question is how much work is he willing to put in proving that he is not the monster that he sometimes portrays. I would tell my difficult child that I know he does not want to be evil and that it is hard to fight those impulses and that he needs to really work on being the person he wants to be. When he started up, I would work on getting him to focus on who he really wants to be. Do you really want to be rude and disrespectful? Is this behavior going to make you the person you want to be? It often times helped change the focus from "how do I stop this?" to "where do you really want to go with this? What is your point?" (My difficult child was 11 yrs old at the time) It is not the answer but a little armor to use in the fight. My difficult child needed his medications but the more we focused on what he wanted to be instead of what he was becoming, the easier the battle became. I truly felt many many nights that my difficult child was headed to prison. It was scary and what your difficult child is experiencing is super scary to him and you. I hope psychiatrist can help. Just remember that it will take time for whatever medications or treatment route you choose to take effect. Didn't you have someplace for him to go during the Stop the World? I also would sometimes find a time later in the day or the next day and say, "You know, I really don't like how our evening went. What was going on? Why were you so upset?" That sometimes opened the door to talk about how difficult child could work on changing. [/QUOTE]
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