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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 485122" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Well, thank you all for your reassuring words. I am not fully convinced yet but... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>Just to make it clear (because this is not a situation really comparable to the States, I think) - this is not a daycare programme or anything like that. It is simply the school. Every school in France offers a service for parents who work before and after school and an assistant or teacher looks after the kids in a setting of play rather than school. This is a tiny school with 35 children so of course I already know and have met the mother of the best friend. Not that we are friends in any way, just to say hello to... Curiously, she is herself a kindergarten teacher. I sense that they are wary about the relationship with J - she once said to me that her son is "very easily influenced" and I suspect that they see J as a negative influence... At the same time, the school always tell me that this boy is himself "no angel". The thing is, in a larger school, this boy and J may well not be natural friends (or they may be, who knows?) but as it is they are the only two boys in the class... and the relationship really does seem extraordinarily conflictual - a constant passionate love-hate relationship... </p><p>Part of this worry is my own projection. Stuff to do with being outsiders already, stuff to do with some fear of being different, socially unacceptable, is being touched off. This is like one of the zones of my deepest fear so it is interesting that I should have a child like J who is constantly going to touch that off... </p><p>The more worrying thing is not actually J's aggression with this kid but his aggression and total rudeness with me afterwards... kind of ugly in a four year old. It's really this side of him that has me concerned - and then the sweet little boy comes back. </p><p>I feel I should ring the other mother, if only to go through the social motions, enquire about the child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 485122, member: 11227"] Well, thank you all for your reassuring words. I am not fully convinced yet but... :) Just to make it clear (because this is not a situation really comparable to the States, I think) - this is not a daycare programme or anything like that. It is simply the school. Every school in France offers a service for parents who work before and after school and an assistant or teacher looks after the kids in a setting of play rather than school. This is a tiny school with 35 children so of course I already know and have met the mother of the best friend. Not that we are friends in any way, just to say hello to... Curiously, she is herself a kindergarten teacher. I sense that they are wary about the relationship with J - she once said to me that her son is "very easily influenced" and I suspect that they see J as a negative influence... At the same time, the school always tell me that this boy is himself "no angel". The thing is, in a larger school, this boy and J may well not be natural friends (or they may be, who knows?) but as it is they are the only two boys in the class... and the relationship really does seem extraordinarily conflictual - a constant passionate love-hate relationship... Part of this worry is my own projection. Stuff to do with being outsiders already, stuff to do with some fear of being different, socially unacceptable, is being touched off. This is like one of the zones of my deepest fear so it is interesting that I should have a child like J who is constantly going to touch that off... The more worrying thing is not actually J's aggression with this kid but his aggression and total rudeness with me afterwards... kind of ugly in a four year old. It's really this side of him that has me concerned - and then the sweet little boy comes back. I feel I should ring the other mother, if only to go through the social motions, enquire about the child. [/QUOTE]
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