Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
This is hard
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 485324" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Yes, difficult to know about the racial/cultural issue and how that plays in. Let's put it this way... I think if J were quiet, timid, well-behaved and more socially subtle than he is, he would fit in and his race wouldn't be an issue. But being turbulent, aggressive, larger than life and naughty probably brings out people's conscious and unconscious racism, their unspoken fear and distrust of "the Arab"... at this age, there is no racism among the kids and the adults are obviously not voicing it. Being English is, curiously, almost much as an issue, probably <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Of course I do speak fluent French and I guess that helps integration... I do feel that J's sense of identity would be aided if he were brought up in Morocco - but there is a lot of prejudice against adopted children there... So whichever way you shake it, there are difficulties.</p><p>I spoke to the other mother today. She sounded rather withdrawn, reserved - not too shocked about what had happened, I think. She said her son was very easily influenced and that he adored J and wanted to do everything he wanted (not sure I totally recognise that picture <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) But I played along with the version that J is the aggressive, influencing partner and was suitably apologetic. She thanked me for ringing and I think it was important to acknowledge this and ask about the other little boy. He is coming to the party, incidentally.</p><p>Rather exhausting day with J, with him being whiney, demanding, tantrumy all day and then suddenly he changed (after running very fast round the block - coincidence??) and became his amenable and co-operative self, eager to please. Yes, DDD, it's going in the diary!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 485324, member: 11227"] Yes, difficult to know about the racial/cultural issue and how that plays in. Let's put it this way... I think if J were quiet, timid, well-behaved and more socially subtle than he is, he would fit in and his race wouldn't be an issue. But being turbulent, aggressive, larger than life and naughty probably brings out people's conscious and unconscious racism, their unspoken fear and distrust of "the Arab"... at this age, there is no racism among the kids and the adults are obviously not voicing it. Being English is, curiously, almost much as an issue, probably :) Of course I do speak fluent French and I guess that helps integration... I do feel that J's sense of identity would be aided if he were brought up in Morocco - but there is a lot of prejudice against adopted children there... So whichever way you shake it, there are difficulties. I spoke to the other mother today. She sounded rather withdrawn, reserved - not too shocked about what had happened, I think. She said her son was very easily influenced and that he adored J and wanted to do everything he wanted (not sure I totally recognise that picture :)) But I played along with the version that J is the aggressive, influencing partner and was suitably apologetic. She thanked me for ringing and I think it was important to acknowledge this and ask about the other little boy. He is coming to the party, incidentally. Rather exhausting day with J, with him being whiney, demanding, tantrumy all day and then suddenly he changed (after running very fast round the block - coincidence??) and became his amenable and co-operative self, eager to please. Yes, DDD, it's going in the diary! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
This is hard
Top