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<blockquote data-quote="confuzzled" data-source="post: 485637" data-attributes="member: 8831"><p>i'm always afraid i'm somehow going to minimize your feeling when i post, and its certainly NOT my intent--you're the mom, and you SHOULD listen to your mommy gut. so please know i'm posting only to give you a different perspective, not to judge anything.</p><p></p><p>but i think its very easy to lose sight of the fact that 5 year olds are not little adults. its virtually impossible to hold any young child to the same standards you would an adult. they arent developmentally ready to think or behave like one--they still have miles to go.</p><p></p><p>i'm wondering if part of what you perceive is that you have a disproportinate sampling to compare to. </p><p></p><p>a whole school that is 35 kids? i'm honestly sitting here trying to think of any time, since my two were born, that i only had 35 other kids behaviors to draw on...and i really cant think of one. (i'm also assuming that out of those 35 kids, there is a small group that is within a year of J). its easy to think, well, jeez, i've known kids my whole life, but somehow, until you have one of your own to compare to others, you dont really pay attention to the small stuff with other peoples kids--somehow its not important until you need to know how yours measures up to the rest of the world.</p><p></p><p>and you say there is only one boy in his class...who, from your own words, actually sounds *more* like a difficult child in training than yours. even if not, its one kid...hardly the yardstick for developmental appropriateness.</p><p></p><p>i cant pretend to understand the cultural differences you live with and i'm sure its hard. </p><p></p><p>but i cant shake the feeling that he seems like a pretty typical boy here in the states. i do think he probably has some issues with routine/transitions and tireness (overscheduled), but *lots* of kids have those difficulties at his age. you've mentioned before that when he's in morocco they dont see the same issues that you see in france...i think thats very interesting. its hard to know if that he's on his best behavior, or if their standards of behaviors in a 5 year old are much less than you are faced with, or if somehow there is more routine and expectation to a typical day there. </p><p></p><p>i feel so bad for you that every move, every word, every everything seems like something to contemplate in detail...i think the journal is an excellent idea, but i also think you need to just enjoy the boy you have.</p><p></p><p>he sounds like my kind of kid, lol...full of p*ss and vinegar as we'd say here in the states. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/wink.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":wink:" title="wink :wink:" data-shortname=":wink:" /></p><p></p><p>and i'd personally worry a lot less about that kind of kid than the one who's "easily influenced"...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="confuzzled, post: 485637, member: 8831"] i'm always afraid i'm somehow going to minimize your feeling when i post, and its certainly NOT my intent--you're the mom, and you SHOULD listen to your mommy gut. so please know i'm posting only to give you a different perspective, not to judge anything. but i think its very easy to lose sight of the fact that 5 year olds are not little adults. its virtually impossible to hold any young child to the same standards you would an adult. they arent developmentally ready to think or behave like one--they still have miles to go. i'm wondering if part of what you perceive is that you have a disproportinate sampling to compare to. a whole school that is 35 kids? i'm honestly sitting here trying to think of any time, since my two were born, that i only had 35 other kids behaviors to draw on...and i really cant think of one. (i'm also assuming that out of those 35 kids, there is a small group that is within a year of J). its easy to think, well, jeez, i've known kids my whole life, but somehow, until you have one of your own to compare to others, you dont really pay attention to the small stuff with other peoples kids--somehow its not important until you need to know how yours measures up to the rest of the world. and you say there is only one boy in his class...who, from your own words, actually sounds *more* like a difficult child in training than yours. even if not, its one kid...hardly the yardstick for developmental appropriateness. i cant pretend to understand the cultural differences you live with and i'm sure its hard. but i cant shake the feeling that he seems like a pretty typical boy here in the states. i do think he probably has some issues with routine/transitions and tireness (overscheduled), but *lots* of kids have those difficulties at his age. you've mentioned before that when he's in morocco they dont see the same issues that you see in france...i think thats very interesting. its hard to know if that he's on his best behavior, or if their standards of behaviors in a 5 year old are much less than you are faced with, or if somehow there is more routine and expectation to a typical day there. i feel so bad for you that every move, every word, every everything seems like something to contemplate in detail...i think the journal is an excellent idea, but i also think you need to just enjoy the boy you have. he sounds like my kind of kid, lol...full of p*ss and vinegar as we'd say here in the states. :wink: and i'd personally worry a lot less about that kind of kid than the one who's "easily influenced"... [/QUOTE]
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