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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 574928" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Geez, I so feel for you. It really sucks to be the bad guy, I have some experience with that too, in the strange world of my daughter's in-laws, they have made my daughter and then by proxy, me, the reason for all bad things happening to that family. It's tough to be that guy I empathize with you. </p><p></p><p>Wounded children lash out at the one person whom they feel safest with, that's you. All that rage and hurt from her bio mom went to you. Not fair, but the way it often goes. You did a really heroic thing for a very long time and don't let that get lost in the shuffle here, you took in a very difficult, already very wounded child and did your very best, that's all any of us can do. The fact that you can't turn it around for her does not say anything about your parenting skills, it simply is the way it is. Sometimes we do the very best we can and we don't get the results we hoped for, but instead of beating yourself up and feeling like a failure, I think you should give yourself a huge pat on the back, tell yourself you did your very best and of course you made mistakes, you are human, but you gave it your best shot. And, now it's time to let go and let someone else have a hand at it. It's just time for everyone to move on. </p><p></p><p>We parents often forget how much it takes out of us to raise a difficult child, and you did that with a child who wasn't yours and was thrust upon you after 7 months. Yikes. You really tried hard for a very long time under impossible circumstances. Take a huge deep breath and let it go and go enjoy your family and your freedom from the tyranny of a wounded child who used you as a whipping post. I can only imagine how different this will be for you after such a long time, but, I say, ENJOY every minute of it because you deserve it! HUGS!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 574928, member: 13542"] Geez, I so feel for you. It really sucks to be the bad guy, I have some experience with that too, in the strange world of my daughter's in-laws, they have made my daughter and then by proxy, me, the reason for all bad things happening to that family. It's tough to be that guy I empathize with you. Wounded children lash out at the one person whom they feel safest with, that's you. All that rage and hurt from her bio mom went to you. Not fair, but the way it often goes. You did a really heroic thing for a very long time and don't let that get lost in the shuffle here, you took in a very difficult, already very wounded child and did your very best, that's all any of us can do. The fact that you can't turn it around for her does not say anything about your parenting skills, it simply is the way it is. Sometimes we do the very best we can and we don't get the results we hoped for, but instead of beating yourself up and feeling like a failure, I think you should give yourself a huge pat on the back, tell yourself you did your very best and of course you made mistakes, you are human, but you gave it your best shot. And, now it's time to let go and let someone else have a hand at it. It's just time for everyone to move on. We parents often forget how much it takes out of us to raise a difficult child, and you did that with a child who wasn't yours and was thrust upon you after 7 months. Yikes. You really tried hard for a very long time under impossible circumstances. Take a huge deep breath and let it go and go enjoy your family and your freedom from the tyranny of a wounded child who used you as a whipping post. I can only imagine how different this will be for you after such a long time, but, I say, ENJOY every minute of it because you deserve it! HUGS!!! [/QUOTE]
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