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General Parenting
This is so hard on my marriage
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 529972" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>This may be for no use, but have you tried 'taking turns in leading' of those stressful situation. In my experience when the parent looses their cool and screams and says non-constructive things, they are not usually happy with themselves after they have calmed down. Everyone would usually like it more, if things got on in more calm and positive manner. It doesn't of course always happen with children and it certainly doesn't happen always with difficult children. </p><p></p><p>With my husband, if we were both home and kids were being difficult and the parent dealing with the matter started to sound too stressed or angry, the other one would interrupt and just nicely ask, if the angry parent wanted for other one to take over. This was of course something we had talked beforehand. The stressed parent left the situation (going out and having some fresh air for the little time helped the best) and the calmer one continued handling the situation. And then the kids got the previously-calm-parent to see red, the previously-angry-parent had usually already find their cool and could come and ask, if the not-anymore-so-calm parent would like them to take over.</p><p></p><p>Even our easy child was able to put us through few rounds of taking turns in lead when he had his worst times with certain things. With the difficult child it didn't work that well, because husband always had a little too strained relationship with him and it did drove me to over-protecting him. But at times, when we got it working between me and husband, we could even exhaust difficult child in his worst with this tactic.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 529972, member: 14557"] This may be for no use, but have you tried 'taking turns in leading' of those stressful situation. In my experience when the parent looses their cool and screams and says non-constructive things, they are not usually happy with themselves after they have calmed down. Everyone would usually like it more, if things got on in more calm and positive manner. It doesn't of course always happen with children and it certainly doesn't happen always with difficult children. With my husband, if we were both home and kids were being difficult and the parent dealing with the matter started to sound too stressed or angry, the other one would interrupt and just nicely ask, if the angry parent wanted for other one to take over. This was of course something we had talked beforehand. The stressed parent left the situation (going out and having some fresh air for the little time helped the best) and the calmer one continued handling the situation. And then the kids got the previously-calm-parent to see red, the previously-angry-parent had usually already find their cool and could come and ask, if the not-anymore-so-calm parent would like them to take over. Even our easy child was able to put us through few rounds of taking turns in lead when he had his worst times with certain things. With the difficult child it didn't work that well, because husband always had a little too strained relationship with him and it did drove me to over-protecting him. But at times, when we got it working between me and husband, we could even exhaust difficult child in his worst with this tactic. [/QUOTE]
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